Perry White Knows All
by Mouserocks-nerd
Summary: Clark Kent is going through a rough time in his life. Perry White has stumbled on to the revelation of a lifetime. Two of them, actually. And as it turns out, Clark needs a father figure now more than ever.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Gah! Don't yell at me! New ideas come flooding and they don't all fit in with the stories I'm already writing and before I know it I've created an entirely new story that needs updating and I'm behind in them all! Oh well. I really like this idea. Figured Clark needs someone to look to at times, too. :)

**Disclaimer:** Who owns what? Clark: one superman costume and several loud ties. Lex: private helicopter/yacht/houses. Lois: famous byline and rather cute shoes. Perry: Daily Planet and various famous headlines (ok, so he's the editor, but still). DC Comics: Superman concept. Warner Brothers: Anything that is a biproduct of the Superman movies. Me: this plotline. :D

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The Planet had pretty much cleared out for the night. It was late, the paper had already been put to bed, and only the diehards remained.

Tonight, that constituted Lois, Clark, Richard, and Jimmy. Perry White was still in his office, but payed little mind to his best employees as he drowned his thoughts in scotch. He and Alice had a fight earlier, and he hadn't planned on going home yet. He wasn't sure that she would let him. Besides, the four were preoccupied with their most recent investigative assignment, and weren't paying too much attention to Jason, who despite the lateness of the hour, was still bustling about. This gave Perry the opportunity to spend some time watching the kid.

It was strange. The more he stared at him, the more he felt like there was something off about the whole situation. Jason would walk up to his parents, to show off a piece of artwork or something or rather, and they would good-naturedly brush him off. Even Jimmy had grown used to the kid's exploits, and merely acknowledged him with a slight smile. But Clark. . . Clark was different. His entire countenance would light up the second the boy came near, and Perry would catch him stealing away glances at the boy discreetly. _Strange,_ he thought, but until tonight he never put two and two together.

Lois had disappeared somewhere, probably to the ladies' room, or knowing Lois, the roof to take a quick drag. Richard had gone into his own office, staring at some files on his computer, and rubbing his eyes tiredly. He was obviously running on fumes. And Jimmy was asleep in his chair next to the conference room, snoring lightly.

Only Clark and Jason were really up and around: Clark, working on typing up some notes, Jason still playing. It seemed to Perry that neither of them must need much sleep, because even the great Perry White was getting bleary eyed- and although he could have blamed it easily on the drink, he knew that he needed rest. An infinite amount of coffee shouldn't have kept Clark going at this ungodly hour.

Suddenly, Perry's attention was arrested from his thoughts as he watched Jason run straight up to Clark and jump into his arms. For a moment, Perry feared he would drop or hurt the child due to his clumsy nature. Much to Perry's shock, however, Clark caught the boy with surprising agility and fluidity, lifting him up and onto his lap as if he were as light as a feather. The kid giggled as he showed the mild-mannered reporter his latest artwork- Perry couldn't see it from here, but he could have sworn that something different flashed across Clark's features as he looked at it, for just a brief moment. It looked like a knee-jerk reaction of. . . fear? Perhaps. Then looking around and confirming that no one else could see it, a broad smile accompanied his features, one the likes of which Perry hadn't seen in a long time, if ever in Clark's face. Not since five years before, when he had pined after Lois. He beamed with something- pride maybe? As he looked into the boy in his arms, there was an unmistakable joy in his eyes.

Perry was mildly amused with this, trying to wrap his very frazzled mind around the possible reason for his sudden joy that he always held for the little boy before him. He continued to watch in interest at the interaction.

It would later be something that he would never forget, though he might try to falsely credit it to an entire bottle of scotch and latenight hours.

Jason smiled a goofy sort of grin up at the reporter before him, matching the look on Clark's face. Something clicked faintly in Perry's dulled mind. Then, keeping the grin on his face, Jason suddenly pulled the thick-rimmed glasses off of Clark's face and placed them on his own, Clark continuing to grin like a. . . well, like a highly amused five year old.

It took everything in Perry to keep his jaw from unhinging and falling on to the floor.

The resemblence was uncanny. He couldn't believe he had never noticed it before. It was spitting image.

It was remarkable how much difference a simple pair of glasses could make.

Suddenly the bottle Perry had been holding in hopes of pouring himself more to drink slipped from his hands and crashed to the floor, shattering and spilling the remains of his favorite scotch. Under any other circumstances, he would have probably swore up and down, mad that anything had gotten his attention so that made him forget his drink. His favorite drink. So what that he had a second bottle in his desk? But all things considered, the only thing he was able to do was slightly croak as he stared at the two of them. The instant the bottle had crashed, both heads snapped up to look his way and determine the source of the noise. Even though his doors had been closed, and it wasn't that loud even to Perry's ears. But in that instant he knew.

Both faces held the same look- a mixture of surprise and sheepish guilt, Jason still holding the oversized glasses up to his face and looking through them innocently. The same dark brown hair. The same mouth. The same bright blue eyes staring up at him.

It was those two pairs of bright, unnaturally blue orbs, shining at him, that finally sealed the deal. He noticed Clark stiffen, and watched as he whispered something to Jason, who nodded and handed back the glasses slowly. Taking them from his son's hands, Clark smiled and placed the dorky frames back on his face, and pushed them up the bridge of his nose with one finger. Setting the boy down, Jason ran off to go back to his toy trucks and crayons.

By the time Clark had reached Perry's office door, the editor-in-chief of the world's most famous newspaper still hadn't managed to pick his chin up off the desk. Clark walked in unannounced, uninvited, and firmly but quietly shut the door behind him. No tripping, no awkwardness, no pretenses anymore in front of his boss. He cleared his throat and fidgeted with his glasses- a nervous habit, no doubt, considering he really didn't need them anymore. By this point, Perry had the presence of mind to shut his mouth out of respect for who was standing in front of him, only to open it again in question.

"Wha- How-?"

Clark raised a hand to signal his editor to allow him to speak. "Mr. White, please, I can explain. If you'd just let me-"

"You're Jason's father," Perry blurted.

For a moment, Clark worried he had misinterpretted his boss's shock. His face lit up. "Um, y-yeah, heh, I am." The smile on his face reflected the gleam in his eyes. Perry knew it now. It was the look of fatherly pride.

"And you're Superman."

His face fell from the highly ecstatic expression previously held there by talk of his son at the mention of his alter-ego. "Yes," he stated simply, his voice dipping into the typical timber of the well-loved hero.

There was a slight pause. "I can't believe I never saw it until now. I've know you for, what, almost ten years? Less maybe? And I still couldn't guess that one of my star reporters- _Clark Kent_, for goodness sakes!- was Superman. After all these years, asking questions and writing stories and wondering about Superman- to have him here under our noses the whole time. Great Cesar's Ghost! I had Superman write his own articles! Do his own interviews!" Perry's expression was that of blank shock. He stared into space, wide-eyed and motionless. This somewhat concerned Clark.

"Sir? Mr. White?" He walked around the desk to see if he was alright and instead stepped in a pile of broken glass.

"Oh, Clark, careful!" he exclaimed with his typical sound of irritation- more out of habit than anything else. Then realization dawned upon him, of who he was warning, and he looked at his second-best reporter with a mixture of awe and undisguised fear.

Clark sighed slightly and, glancing around outside the chief's office to find no one else watching, used his super speed to clean up the mess in a matter of seconds. "There, that should do it." He smiled shyly until he looked up into his boss's face to find his jaw once again hung open. He sighed once more, this time with a bit of a darker, more serious look. "You do understand, Mr. White, sir, that this is not something I want getting out. There's a reason I wear the glasses here at work."

"Which is?" Perry managed to croak, the journalist inside him finally coming to the fore.

He glanced out of the windows in Perry's office and a soft smile illuminated his face as his gaze rested on the little boy playing outside. "To protect everyone I care about."

Perry somehow managed to collect himself as he followed Kent's gaze out to the child currently using Clark's desk edge as a racetrack for his toy truck. "Aw, hell, Kent. I knew that. I know what stories need to be killed in order to protect my sources. And as long as I keep wanting to scoop other papers, I'm not gonna tick off Superman, in any of his guises. I'm not that stupid."

Clark turned back to his boss and smiled at him. "Thank you, chief. I'm glad I can count on you. You don't know what this means to me."

"I do have a couple of questions though."

Clark shrugged and slumped into a chair before Perry White's desk, very un-Superman like, he mused. "Shoot," Clark said, taking off his glasses, no longer seeing the need for them. Besides, the complications were making his head hurt.

"First and foremost: do Lois and Richard know? I mean, it's obvious Jason does."

"Yeah, they do now. Lois got pretty mad at me, but Richard's taken it surprisingly well. Better than I am, I have to admit."

"Who else knows?" Perry continued, deciding to ignore the additional commentary for now to sort out later.

"Uh, no one, really. You, now. I suppose a couple of people back home might know, but for the most part, that's it. I've kept it a really well-guarded secret."

"Yeah, I can see that. What do you mean, back home, though?"

"Smallville." At the blank look Perry gave him, Clark elaborated. "You know, Kansas? Back where I grew up, on the farm. . ."

"I thought you were from Krypton."

Clark sighed. "Lois had a hard time with this at first, too. I wasn't born yesterday, Mr. White, sir. I arrived here when I was three years old, my parents adopted me and took me in, raised me as the child they could never have. Clark Joseph Kent is my real life, sir. Everything you know about my life is, for the most part, true. Clark Kent is not who I disguise myself as- Superman is the disguise."

These words sunk in with Perry White, and he felt as if his whole world had been turned upside down. _Superman isn't real?_ Clark obviously noted the effect that had on his boss, as he began waving his hand in front of his boss's face. "Sir? Mr. White, sir?"

Suddenly he remembered himself. "Great shades of Elvis, Kent- you're Superman! You shouldn't be the one to call me 'sir.' It's like the whole world's gone mad."

Clark suddenly looked sheepish- like normal Clark, Perry noticed- and looked down at his feet. "Sorry, Perry. I know this must be confusing for you right now."

There was another pause, where Perry tried to wrap his incredibly befuddled mind around the situation as Clark continued to look shy and normal. Except for the fact that his glasses weren't on his face. And somehow, that made all the difference. "So. . . what should I call you now?"

Clark laughed at this. "I told you, I am Clark Kent. Not Kal'el. Not Superman. Something in between. What I am on tv or in the office isn't entirely me."

"So. . . you're not the world's biggest klutz?"

Clark's grin widened and a smile could be seen in his eyes. "Well, not as much as I make it appear. But you're forgetting you never get to see Superman just walking around in normal life. You just see him bursting through the walls of burning buildings and windows, never trying to fit his six foot four frame through a revolving door. Not to mention the fact that I wear a second pair of clothes underneath everything- and am constantly running about trying to handle two jobs. No, a lot of that is very real. I just can't use my reflexes in public very well."

"And the dork thing?"

Clark feigned a frown. "What dork thing?" he joked. "Seriously, though. I exaggerate things so it that there's no possible way for people to infer who I really am."

Perry shook his head with a smile lightening his features. "Well it works. You had me fooled for as long as I've known you." Clark smiled, then his eyes shifted down to his feet again. Perry couldn't understand why he always did that. Before it could have just been a method to avoid a gaze that was too intense, too suspicious. It could have just been a nervous Clark-ism, but now there was nothing to worry about. Why did he still look guilty? Perry wasn't upset with him for keeping it a secret- it was a big deal to keep something like this quiet, and announcing it to a newsroom wasn't exactly the way to do that.

Suddenly he thought maybe Clark believed he was mad at him. The man squirmed awkwardly, which did not suit the man of steel, but was very reminiscent of Clark Kent. Perry decided to ease the man's conscience. "Kent, stop your moping. I'm not mad at you. I'm actually kind of glad to have figured it out on my own. It explains a lot, gives me some time to think about it all. If you had just whipped off your glasses on your third week here, said "hey, I'm Superman," and offered me a handshake, I would have been beyond shocked. I appreciate that you take the time to consider your decisions. That's why I hired you in the first place- you're not as fully forward as Mad Dog Lane."

A sad sort of smile crossed his features once again, with a slight amount of relief in his blue eyes, but it was brief. "Thank you, Mr. White. For being so understanding." Unconsciously, Clark turned in his seat to glance towards the elevator.

_What is he looking for?_ Perry thought, and was immediately answered when the elevator doors opened up and Lois Lane trotted out, looking tired but ever determined to get the job done. She went back into the conference room, where Clark noticed as he followed her with his eyes that Jimmy was still asleep and had taken to drooling. He shook his head, as if to clear his mind of everything and returned to the present, where Perry sat staring at him. He looked guiltily down again, feeling bad about getting caught.

"How did you- oh." _Stupid question_, Perry realized halfway through asking it. For the second time that night, Perry had a revelation. Suddenly everything made sense. Not just the unexplained absences and disappearing act, or the fact that he was never seen with Superman. Everything else fell into place. The random glances you would catch of him staring at you after you had just mentioned his name, as if he could hear you. Staring into nothingness. Staring after Lois, long after she had even left the room. The distracted look he got whenever something terrible seemed to be happening, as if he was listening to it in the distance. The inexplicable always-hot coffee. He could hear anyone's mutterings, and know exactly what to get for them. Particularly, Lois.

Lois. So that was why the guilty looks were there. She found out and she got mad at him? Or maybe she just gave him the cold shoulder- or worse, the raging bulldog side of her- for leaving her for all those years.

No, the whole Clark Kent is Superman thing added up. It added up quite nicely, too. What didn't add up was the situation with Lois. _And Jason,_ he reminded himself.

"Uh, Kent? There's still one thing I don't get. Lois-"

He furrowed his brow and cut off his boss. "I know, chief. Or rather, I don't know. I-I," he paused, struggling for the right words as his features sunk into a deeper frown. "It's just, Lois and I. . . I mean. . ." Clark was having no such luck. He stood up in frustration and ran a hand through his thick, dark hair. He began pacing back and forth before Perry's desk, no longer focusing on the older man before him. "I-It's complicated, chief."

"Forget I asked. I don't mean to go off and pry into other people's lives. It's not my business to know."

Clark smiled wistfully. "Perry, you're the editor-in-chief of the Daily Planet. You're a journalist. It's exactly your business." That made Perry White chuckle. Then the scowl returned to grace Clark's countenance. "And frankly, it kind of feels good to be able to talk to someone about this. I can't exactly vent to Lois, or Richard for that matter. And as much as I love her, my mother seems to be very biased in her opinions- most of which don't agree with mine. And her bias isn't usually with me, either. You're the first real friend I could ever talk to about all this." At this he blushed and returned his gaze to the floor. Perry swelled with pride. _Friend_. Superman just called him his friend. And the only one he could confide in. Clark was always a very sheltered person, even not as Superman. Perry White was proud to know that he had his ace reporter's full trust.

Perry softened his tone. "You know, Clark, I know you must think I have some biases of my own, what with Richard being my nephew and all, but like your mother, I have other biases as well. But I just want you to know, if you ever want to. . . you know. . . talk, my door's always open. I can only imagine what kind of torture you must be going through right now. I don't want you escaping your problems via an island of kryptonite this time: the world needs you. Your son needs you." He paused to let this sink in. "And even though she'd kill me if she ever heard me say this, even Lois needs you. I don't know to what extent that need reaches, but it's there. Everyone of us needs Superman, if not for his help, for what he stands for. Keep that in mind the next time someone the likes of Luthor shows up."

Throughout his speech, Clark had turned slightly away from his boss and leaned against the wall, using his arm to prop him up. Now, he turned his face fully away, and Perry would be lying to himself if he didn't swear that he was trying to hide the tears in his eyes, discreetly brushing his sleeve against his face. _Well, I'll be, _Perry mused. He'd made Superman cry.

Finally Clark composed himself, and releasing a slow breath turned back to his boss once more. "Perry?"

Perry felt his pulse quicken as he stared in awe over the fact that Superman knew him by name, and was comfortable using it. "Yes?"

Clark smiled, with just a hint of sadness, but his expression mainly conveying the fact that he was deeply impressed with his boss's wisdom. "Where the hell were you when I ran off five years ago?"

At this Perry White grinned. Though he didn't know if it was because of the compliment or the fact that Superman just used the word 'hell' in a casual question to him. Continuing to grin, he responded. "I was trying to print a paper about the world's greatest hero, not realizing that I had him in front of me the whole time. Besides, they didn't hire me here just because I know how to yodel."

Clark nodded, still smiling, but he closed his eyes in an effort to gain some peace. "Thank you, Perry. You don't know how much I needed that. It's what my father would have said to me, if he were still here."

Suddenly it struck Perry that he had been referencing his father and he didn't know who he was referring to. "Your father. . . as in Superman's father?"

Clark looked at his toes in sadness and shifted his weight. "No. My real father. Jonathan Kent. He died when I was in high school. Heart attack. Even I couldn't save him." There was no mistaking the bitterness in his tone of voice. It must have been frustrating, Perry realized, to have so many abilities and not be able to help everyone, his own father included. Suddenly he saw the wisdom beyond the years in the eyes of the younger man before him. . . and the pain. So much pain. He had suffered alone enough, Perry decided firmly, and swore that he would help Clark Kent through anything if it meant lifting even some of the burden that weighed on the man's shoulders.

"But even Superman's father can't help me now. He's gone too, thanks to Luthor's latest exploits, and even though. . . we had our differences, the A.I. of my father and I. . . it's difficult to think that I'll never have any access to his knowledge anymore. Or hear his voice again. Or my mother's." He sank back into the same chair, this time folding his hands and leaning his face into them. He looked lost. Perry had no idea that Superman, let alone Clark Kent, had all of these problems. Sure, he figured the man took on the problems of the world. But to have such deeply personal problems, to see such pain evident and etched into his finely chiselled features. . . Perry White was at a loss for words.

Then he broke down. Clark Kent, _Superman_, was sobbing, crying his eyes out in his office. In Perry White's office.

He hadn't thought the man of steel could truly cry.

Perry knew his jaw was hanging open again, but once again he couldn't figure out what to do about it. He awkwardly made his way over to the mild-mannered reporter and placed a hand consolingly on his shoulder. "Um, there, there," he stated shakily, scared to death. What do you do to comfort a man whose personal life was this torn apart, let alone the man of steel? He heard Clark snivel and whimper as he muttered incomprehensible things into his arms that laid on Perry's desk. Of those things he could pick out a few words: something having to do with his mother, lots about death, kryptonite, and mostly, Jason and Lois. The only phrase he could make out clearly was simple, but it gave insight into what was truly on the man's mind. "_I can't lose them."_ He didn't know how many people "them" included, but Perry had a feeling it pertained mostly to Jason and Lois.

Suddenly he noticed the little boy himself standing up outside the doors of his office, concern filling his big blue eyes. He must have heard Clark's sobbing and came to investigate. Looking down at the broken man in front of him, he decided to play it off and leave Jason out of this. Perry knew that the second that boy walked through the door, Clark would fiercely brush away his tears and become stern and strong again, and that wouldn't be good in the long run. He realized the best thing to do would be to let the man let it all pour out. Keeping all of this bottled up inside of him would kill him faster than a blade of kryptonite. Speaking of bottles. . .

Upon this realization, Perry decided to go around his desk and pull open a drawer. He waved Jason off with a smile and thumbs up signal, which the boy took to understand that it was grown up stuff and his Uncle Perry would fix it. Satisfied, the boy walked back to the couch where he had been forced to lie down under a fuzzy red blanket, though not before confirming that he could still see his Uncle Perry helping his daddy.

Perry smiled at the smart boy, and proceeded in undertaking his task at hand. From the file cabinet drawer he pulled out another bottle of scotch and a second tumbler. Clark was seemingly calming himself down, his sobs turning into slight hiccups, which only slightly shook the desk under his head. As he quieted himself, Perry poured two glasses of scotch with a wry smile on his face.

The sound of liquid pouring both soothed Clark and caught his curiosity. As he took a few deep breaths, he finally brushed away the last of his tears and looked up to see his boss leaning on the corner of his desk, holding out a tumbler full of scotch toward him. "Need a drink?" his boss smiled, though still appeared a bit disconcerted.

Clark scoffed at him, but took the glass appreciatively. Giving his boss a slight smile he said with a twinkle in his damp eyes, "You do know it would take about a tankard of this stuff to take the edge off of me?"

Perry laughed aloud, not hiding his mild surprise yet at the same time his previous knowledge of the fact. "Yeah, but scotch is scotch, and when offered, you drink. Even if you have an abnormally high tolerance for it."

Clark smiled genuinely at him, and they clinked their glasses before both drinking.

Jason, satisfied that his dad was no longer sad, finally closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

After finishing off their drinks, Clark looked at the floor again. "Thank you, Perry," he said quietly. "I really needed this. You have no idea how badly I needed someone to talk to about all this."

"No, Kent, I think I do have an idea. I think it's about time you go home and get some rest." That reminded Perry of something. "Oh, and by the way, have you found a place to stay yet?"

The squeamish look on Clark's face gave Perry the answer he needed. "Yes and no," Clark began. "I got the place, but it's not ready yet. The owners are still moving out, high-tailing it out of the city after the whole earthquake ordeal. It should be ready by Thursday."

"That's two more days! Where have you been staying all this time?"

"Around. In the sky, at my mom's, in Metropolis General Hospital. . ."

"Clark. . ." the tone in Perry's voice was that of an admonishing father.

"I know, chief, I know. But the skies are pretty comfortable and I haven't had much time to sleep anyways, what with helping clean up the whole New Krypton ordeal, and I've been staying at my mom's place on the farm much more often than you might think."

"What about Lois? You're the father of her child and she still hasn't asked you to stay over at her place?"

"No no, she has, believe me. I just. . . don't feel that comfortable interfering with their lives all that much right now. I don't want to cause any friction. Jimmy's offered too, but he doesn't know who I am just yet, and uh, I might have to run out and take care of some things, you know what I mean?"

"Clark."

"And I don't want to impose upon anybody else in the office, not that anyone's really cared much anyways."

"Cla-"

"After all, I'm just dorky Kent, and-"

"_Kent."_

The tone in Perry's voice was that of his boss, not his friend and father figure. It was Chief, barking orders across the newsroom. Clark snapped to attention and stopped his rambling. "Yes, sir?"

"You're gonna stay with me for two nights. Alright?"

"No, sir."

"Pardon?" If you had whispered in Perry's direction at that moment, he probably would have fallen flat on the floor. Though if it was Superman doing the whispering, he supposed he would be pushed over anyways. What impressed him the most was that Clark Kent was standing up to him. Being assertive. _Bravo_, he thought silently to himself while the rest of him spoke aloud. "No?"

"I can't impose on you, sir. Not when you're having issues with Alice right now."

Now it was Perry White's turn to stand at attention. "How'd you find out about that?"

Clark looked guiltily downwards and shuffled his feet before gesturing to his ears. "I don't miss much, sir. Hearing, remember?"

Perry sighed. "It's just a small spat. Not a knock down, drag out fight or anything. Nothing Superman would have to step in for. Besides, having a guest around might put some space between me and the missus."

"It's not just that, sir. It's-" then he stopped himself. What could he say without hurting the man's feelings? _It's that nobody, not even you, cared about where I was until you found out I was Superman?_ That sounded harsh after all that his boss had just done for him, even if it did seem like the truth. Clark couldn't do that to the older man before him. It was too bitter. Superman wasn't supposed to get bitter, and Clark Kent wasn't either.

Perry obviously saw the debate going on in Clark's face and instantly knew the issue. "I'm sorry, Kent. I know I should have noticed before. But we were all just as busy- okay, maybe not just as busy as you were, but still. I noticed when you were gone. Those few days, I asked everyone around if they knew where you were, or where I could get ahold of you. I feared the worst had happened- and I'm not gonna lie, my first thought was what the world would do without the infamous Lane-Kent duo? At the time I knew it to be ridiculous, but for some reason my mind jumped to how we would ever get any Superman articles if you got seriously hurt. Now I understand that connection. No one knew where you were, where you were staying- you weren't even listed in the phone book. I even checked the hospital records, but came up empty handed. I didn't know you were already there. And I know Lois was worried too, after Superman ended up okay and you still hadn't returned. She panicked- almost as much as she did with Superman." Clark gave Perry a half-smile. "The point is, it's not just Superman I'm worried about. It's the ace reporter and friend to us all."

Clark's smile widened as relief spread across his brow. "Then thank you again, Mr. White. You're a great man."

Perry arched an eyebrow. "Is that a yes?"

Slowly, Clark nodded. "If that's still what you think is best."

Perry grinned. "Then get your stuff and we'll meet back here before I take off. That is, if everyone else here is done."

"Uh, chief? My stuff kind of is already here." He looked embarrassedly down as he scuffed the floor with the tip of his shoe.

If Perry had any sort of reaction to that statement, he did a good job not showing it. After everything else he'd learned tonight, this really wasn't as much of a shocker. "Alright then. Just, uh, make sure you've got things wrapped up here with Lois and Jimmy."

Clark turned his gaze to the outside surroundings of his office. "Um, chief?"

"What, Kent? For pete's sakes, spit it out already!"

"I don't think bailing is such a bad idea. The only one awake is Lois, and she's barely managing to keep her eyes open to finish that game of solitaire."

This time Perry's shock was visible. Then he settled himself and pointed to Clark's now bespectacled face. "You, uh, can see that?"

Clark, resembling himself much more now that the thick-rimmed frames were once again on his face, grinned from ear to ear. "And hear the snoring," he added. "But we should probably let them all know we're going."

Perry nodded as he grabbed his coat and briefcase, then headed out the door. Kent, as usual, followed. "Oh, and Kent, one last question. Are they. . . you know. . . fakes?" He gestured to his eyes.

Clark gave a soft laugh. "No, they're actual glasses. For a while there when I was younger I did need them- I had horrible vision, and tons of health problems. As my powers developed more fully I got better in every aspect- but by then I realized they were an effective disguise. Besides, I had gotten used to them. Even now sometimes it feels funny flying around without them. The prescription doesn't really effect me anyways though, since I can see through pretty much anything." He grinned at his flabbergasted boss before they continued on their path.

They walked into the conference room, Perry shaking his head good-naturedly at his reporter before turning his attention to Lois. "Lois," Perry began. "Kent and I are headed out. You should be too."

"Clark?" she asked groggily.

"Yeah, he finally took me up on an offer to stay with me and Alice until his place clears out. You take Richard and Jason on home, get some rest." He turned to the snoring, drooling form scrunched into the chair. "Jimmy," Perry said, slightly shaking the kid from his slumber. "Go home, get some sleep. What's wrong with you people?"

Jimmy stirred and managed to stand up without really opening his eyes. Lois finally realized what it was that Perry White had said and was just now processing it. "Clark? You're staying with Perry?" she asked, befuddled.

"Just until Thursday, when my apartment clears out."

Perry caught the look of rage on Mad Dog Lane's face before she quickly brought it back under control. _Uh-oh._ Perry knew what that look meant. "Fine. See you guys tomorrow." She shut her laptop with a loud click and turned on her heel. "Oh, and Clark?"

Perry pitied the man, who had a look of slight fear spread across his features. He knew what it felt like to be on the receiving end of Lois Lane's anger, as did almost everyone in the newsroom. "Y-yes Lois?" Although he knew Superman didn't stutter, Perry suspected that this was one of the few times he did so genuinely.

She smiled sweetly. "Did you enjoy your time with Jason today?"

Clark visibly flinched, as her words obviously struck a chord with him. He looked as though she'd just punched him in the gut, only if she had he wouldn't have been hurt at all. So this was how you really hurt Superman: a five foot five brunette threatening his time with his son. Perry watched him square his jaw firmly, and for a moment was concerned that he might just lose it. Instead, the tall reporter just smiled through the pain. "Always, Lois."

She smirked and walked over to him. Leaning in closely, she whispered, though not so quiet that Perry couldn't catch it if he tried. "Because his window will be locked tonight." And with that, she stalked off to go collect her son and her fiancee and drive them home.

No, Perry corrected himself, this was how you killed Superman. Clark looked as if she had just convinced him to part his lips just enough, in hopes of a kiss- and instead had shoved a chunk of kryptonite down his throat. And he was forced to swallow it.

He didn't even turn to watch her as she walked off, his face reddening, though Perry highly doubted it was a lovestruck blush. Clark kept his eyes fixed on where she had been when she had uttered those words; in fact, he didn't look after them at all until the elevator door opened. As he turned Clark Kent saw his son looking drowsily at him over Richard's shoulder. As they stepped in, his eyes met Lois's in a silent plea, begging her to not do this, not cut him off from his son- even if it was just for two nights. Her eyes did not reflect any such sympathy. As the elevator doors closed, the last thing that could be seen, by Perry anyways, was Jason's tired wave goodbye to his father and Lois slyly but rather obviously fixing her eye makeup using a particular finger meant for Clark. Clark's gaze followed the elevator down with his eyes for a little while, returning the wave despite the fact that the doors were long since closed.

_Ouch,_ Perry thought, wincing in sympathy for the reporter by his side.

Clark in turn sighed and shoved his hands into his coat pockets as he sulked. Perry clapped him on the shoulder in reassurance, nodding to him to signify all would be well. Clark tried to give a smile in return, but it came out looking pathetic.

Then Jimmy spoke up. "What was all that about?"

Clark practically jumped out of his skin and floated above the floor in shock. "Uh, um, what exactly was what about?"

Jimmy appeared confused, but brushed it off as an aspect of his imagination that still wasn't fully functioning. What other reasonable explanation was there that Lois Lane had spoken with Clark about Jason? Or more importantly, had flipped Kent the bird? Maybe he was wrong, maybe it was intended for Perry. He couldn't imagine what CK could have done to tick Lois off that much. "Anyways, I'm going to catch a cab home."

"S-see you Jimmy." Clark stuttered.

He grunted a response and headed towards the elevator. Perry chuckled at the boy as Clark went and dug up his things from the supply closet. The elevator ride down was very quiet between Clark and Perry. Just when he'd thought he had pretty well patched up Clark for the day, Lois came in and tore up all his hard work. Now the man of steel was looking even more depressed.

The cab ride home was very similar to the elevator. Finally, Perry White could no longer handle the silence. "Lois will come around, Clark. You know how her temper swings as well as anyone. Maybe better than anyone. She's not going to make good on her threat. But for your own safety, I would avoid going in her general vicinity for a day- you know, let her cool off."

Clark cringed. "So you heard?"

"Even if I hadn't heard, I would have been able to put two and two together by the reaction she got out of you. You looked like you just ate kryptonite."

Clark gave a small laugh at the comparison. "Yeah, felt like it too."

Back to silence. Then, closer to Perry's place, Clark added, "Are you sure Alice will be alright with this? I mean, I can always, you know, go back to my mom's place and rest up- it'd only take a couple of seconds for me-"

"Clark, you're not getting out of this. Number one, you're still recuperating in more than one way. Number two, Alice loves you anyways. She'd be happy to have you."

"Even at," He checked his watch, "1:47 in the morning?" he asked disbelievingly.

Perry shrugged. "If she realizes you don't have a place anymore."

The driver stopped and the two men pulled out their items, Clark bumbling with his suitcases to put up a good show. He knew the man could have lifted them all with his pinky finger if he'd wanted to. Perry shook his head.

How had he been so easily fooled all these years?

* * *

**A/N:** Yay! I apologize for its length, but I couldn't find a better place to stop. More to come, and I promise I will update my other stories as well!

**Review Please!** Clark loves hearing positive things about the things he does (though he takes criticism well so long as it is well-deserved). XD


	2. Chapter 2

As they approached the door, Clark allowed Perry to enter first, and perhaps break the news of their guest. But Perry White saw what he was doing, and grabbing him gruffly by the sleeve dragged him behind him into the house. Surprisingly, it was dark. Alice must have already gone to bed. Perry chuckled at Clark's dubious expression and at their temporary luck. He whispered conspiratorally with his employee. "You take the guest bedroom, Clark. If you need anything, I'll be out here on the couch."

"Perry, no. If you're not going to be sleeping in your own bedroom then you should at least have the guest bed. I can sleep on the couch- I can sleep on anything. You know me."

"And that's exactly why you get the guest bedroom. For some privacy. I may know you, but Alice sure as hell doesn't."

Clark realized he had once again lost out to his editor's quick wit and cringed. "Fine," he added tersely. "But I must warn you, I'll try not to make much noise but some things can't be helped. There's a window, correct?"

Perry nodded. "Another positive to add to the list."

Clark sighed and silently carried his bags to his room. So silently in fact that he had Perry wondering if the man's feet were even touching the ground.

Perry could have slapped himself in the face, except that would make more noise. They weren't touching the floor, of course.

He sighed after Clark had entered the spare bedroom and shut the door. He had hoped Alice would be awake so he could explain everything to her, but he supposed the news of their house guest would have to wait until morning. Loosening his tie and slipping off his shoes, he grabbed a pillow and a blanket and made himself as comfortable as possible on the couch in their living room.

Clark felt incredibly guilty staying at his boss's house, even if it was well intentioned. Clark didn't find sleep easily. He just kept replaying Lois's comment in his mind over and over again. That, and the fact that Perry White had finally figured out who he was. He allowed himself a slight chuckle as he recalled the look of shock on his boss's face, and the long conversation that had followed.

He still couldn't believe that he'd let himself to break down so easily. It was just so easy to confide in the man- the loss of his Kryptonian father had really been more of a blow on him than he'd expected, and it only brought back all of the fresh memories about his adoptive father's death, and everyone else he'd ever lost. Even though he was his adoptive father, Jonathon Kent was what Clark considered to be his real dad- which was why he found it so difficult to tear Lois and Richard apart, even after learning Jason's paternity. He knew that blood wasn't always thicker than water, and despite how much he just wanted to carry Lois off, sweep her off her feet, and profess his love for her: he couldn't cause that damage to Jason- or even Richard. After all, the man had only done what his own father had: he cared for Jason as though he were his own. Lois was right: Richard was a good man.

No, he would let Lois make her own decisions.

But right now, that was killing him. Slowly, painfully killing him. Perry had been on the nose about the whole eating kryptonite thing. It wasn't as quick or sharp as the stab Lex Luthor had bestowed upon him- unconsciously he felt the still healing scar on his side- but it was just as biting. The look on her face when he begged her with his eyes in the elevator, the harsh words about his visits with Jason- even the not-so-subtle sign of her anger with him; it was torturous. She loved him. Once. _No,_ he scolded himself. _She still cares. Perry even knows it. Anger is a secondary reaction, and she's just hurt._ That thought didn't really help the situation, knowing that things could have been perfect between them, and he'd screwed it up. He had hurt her. _It's your own fault, you idiot. You're the one who did that to her. And then you screwed her over a second time by blind-siding her. It's not fair that Richard and Jason should have found out first. . _. Suddenly Clark sat himself up in bed. He had to see Jason, just once more for the night. His was the only presence that could possibly soothe him in his chaotic state of mind. It would only upset Lois, he knew. But he didn't care right now.

He floated across the room, sped into his suit, and rushed out the window, careful not to make a sound.

Before he knew it, he was floating outside above Lois and Richard's house, despite everything inside him that knew it was a bad idea. Clark scanned the window, only to find in his sinking heart that it was locked. Lois held true to her promises. Sighing stirred the leaves in the trees around the house, and he carefully monitored Lois through the walls to see if she would notice anything suspicious, despite the fact that he felt guilty over doing it. She was asleep at her computer, always the hard worker. He smiled wistfully, before returning his attention to his son. _His son_. The words felt so good to say, even in his mind. Turning them over in his mind was calming, as was the soothing rhythm of his son's heartbeat and slow breathing. A smile overtook his handsome features as he closed his eyes for a moment, allowing the serenity of the moment to wash over him. _Peace._

But it was not to last. The sound of screams for help tore his attention away; and slowly tearing his eyes from his son's sleeping form, he flew off to resolve what sounded like a bank robbery.

It was a long night for Superman.

After the robbery, the cries for help didn't seem to stop pouring in. A mugging, a car jacking, and a cat stuck in a tree- oh well. _C'est la vie,_ Clark thought as he finally came back to Perry's place at around 4:45 and sunk into the bed. Deciding it was best not draw attention, he closed the blinds to the bedroom, and, hearing no more immediate cries for help and deciding Perry would kill him if he got no sleep after he even opened up his home to the man. If he had known that he had gone back to Lois's even after doing all the saving- just to fuel up on his peace for the night, Perry might literally kill him. Especially if said man had even been caught by Lois when she was outside taking a smoke. He groaned to himself, imagining what else he could have done other than give her a guilty smile and pretend to hear somethinig dangerous off in the distance before flying off. He wanted so badly to take her in his arms, fly off with her- even just stand there and kiss her gently. But it was not to be.

In his distracted state of mind, he didn't manage to escape one of his famous Clark moments, however, as he floated directly into the path of a desk chair. Cursing himself mentally, he made sure to actually use his visual skills to navigate the foreign bedroom landscape. And to try to stay focused at the task at hand: stay quiet as possible, and sleep. It did not take long in his incredibly sleep-deprived state for sleep to overcome his tired and weak frame, as he sank gently into the bed he had previously occupied only hours before, hoping he could get a decent two hours sleep in before having to get up for work.

*****S*****

Alice got up as usual at five forty-five am, the first rays of dawn creeping onto the horizon, and automatically went to the kitchen for a pot of coffee. After drinking about a half a cup her head began to clear up a little- enough to wonder where her husband was. Normally he came in and slept in the guest room, but usually he came in and at least tried to talk to her. That was strange, but on hearing the shower start up in their bedroom, she assumed he had just made his way past her in her early morning daze and went into their bedroom to shower. She shrugged. They had had a bad day yesterday. She had heard last night someone quietly moving around in the guest room, trying to be quiet but the loud bump he had made had startled her awake. It was about an hour ago now, and she couldn't quite figure out what had caused her husband to be moving about at that hour. Despite her recent spat with Mr. White, Alice found herself smiling into her coffee mug as she made her way across to the living room to turn on the television.

Her smile vanished the second she saw the pillow and blankets, along with her husband's tie discarded on the couch. _But. . . _Alice couldn't make sense of it. Someone was in the guest bedroom- she had heard it, loud and clear! It was as if a chair was knocked over. Fear snaked into her thoughts, and before she knew what she was doing, she found herself with a baseball bat in her hands slowly approching the bedroom door.

Thankful that the doors were well oiled and silent, she pushed it open slowly. Her heart jumped to her throat as she noticed a motionless figure lying on his side in the guest bed, sheets well tangled. Creeping ever closer, she struggled to keep her breath steady as she gazed wide eyed at the form as she got a better view of him. _Obviously well-built,_ she thought, then chastized herself for such traitorous thoughts. That meant this man could easily take her if he awoke. Heart pounding, Alice squeezed her eyes shut as she raised the bat over her head and swung down with all of her might.

Clark's eyes shot open a millisecond before the bat connected with his head. _Too late_, he thought to himself as he felt it make contact.

Alice was scared to actually hurt him, but her instincts told her that beating the crap out of this guy would be alright. The only thoughts going through her mind while the bat fell were those of fear and determination.

Then, much to her surprise, the unthinkable happened.

The bat splintered into a thousand pieces the second it made contact with the intruder's head. Her hand throbbed with pain as the shock ran through the bat to her swinging hand.

Alice practically screamed bloody murder.

Clark spun around, eyes wide and alert as he jumped out of the bed to face Alice White. "Oh, crap!" he exclaimed with surprise. Not thinking clearly yet, he quickly took her arm and did a quick scan of her arm with his x-ray vision. Satisfied that there were no fractures or real damage done to his boss's wife, he turned to her and realized she was still shouting. "M-mrs. White, Alice- Ma'am, please," he said, switching into his most soothing Superman voice. "It's alright, I'm not going to hurt you."

She quieted her voice to a degree, but still appeared horrified. He held eye contact with her for a moment, and as she looked into his eyes, she suddenly shut up. His eyes. . . and his face. . . they were so familiar. . . they were. . . he was. . . "Superman?" she asked, still confused and a little scared.

He nodded to her question. "Are you alright Mrs. White?" She didn't seem to be focused on anything but his arm that held hers in a firm but gentle grip. She refused to let her eyes wander to his bare chest, though she did confirm the fact that his bottom half was fully clothed with a quick glance.

Suddenly a voice entered the room. "Great shades of Elvis, Alice! It's only Clark! I meant to tell you last night, but it was-" the second Perry stepped into the room he stopped in his tracks. It was not Clark standing before his wife, but Superman. A well-chiseled and half naked Superman, nonetheless, Perry noted with a slight frown. "Too late," Perry finished his statement previously, now finding it had even more of a meaning to the current situation they found themselves in.

Alice finally found her voice again, and put it to good use. "Clark? What do you mean? And why the heck is Superman staying in our guest bedroom? And why didn't you tell me?"

"Uh, did I say Clark? What I meant to say was, uh-"

"I-It's okay, Chief. She deserves to know- and I think she knows well enough now."

Suspicious, Alice narrowed her eyes. "Know what?" She glanced between the two men, wondering how it all fell into place.

Clark began with a gulp. "A-Alice- I mean, Mrs. White," he started slowly. "I didn't have somewhere to stay for the night. I'm waiting for some. . . i-issues to be worked out at my own place before I could get s-situated. It should be ready by tomorrow. Until then, Mr. White here offered me to stay here for a couple of nights. I-I-If I am imposing, i-in any way on you two, I will gladly take my leave here. I appreciate your guys' h-hospitality," Clark managed to stutter out in a very un-Superman voice. There was something familiar about it, Alice thought, but was too bewildered to put two and two together. Perry noted the stutter, and again realized that it was real. _Boy, he really isn't comfortable telling people his secrets, is he?_ Finally, sighing (though controlling his breath better so as not to cause a storm of some sort), Clark stepped back from them. Suddenly, Alice White found herself shocked as Superman spun around at super speed and stopped, to show him standing in the iconic Superman outfit and cape. Then, with a slight smile, he spun again, this time stopping in civilian wear. A baggy jacket, unfashionable suit, thick dorky glasses. . . .

Much like her husband the night before, Alice couldn't get her jaw off the ground.

"Clark?"

He smiled sheepishly and pushed the glasses further up his nose. "Hi there, Mrs. White." Again there was that look down at his feet, before he looked back up to her for approval.

She remained flabbergasted. "Clark?" she repeated. "Clark Kent?" He nodded to her in the affirmative. Suddenly she turned on her husband. "And you knew this whole time?"

"Ha! Alice, if you thought I knew this whole time, don't you think I would've never let him leave, or brought him back here to stay with us sooner? I found out last night, when I caught him with his glasses off. That's why I didn't tell you we had a guest staying last night- I wasn't sure who he wanted to be staying as, and I was afraid you'd get it out of me. It's not my secret to tell." It was now Perry's turn to look bashfully at the floor in embarrassment.

The reaction Alice gave was far from the expected. She burst out with laughter. Alice began laughing so hard that she needed to sit down in a chair- the very one that Clark had knocked over the previous night- or rather, an hour or so ago. Finally collecting herself, she wiped at her eyes and patted her husband on the hand. "Thank you, dear. I needed that."

"Um, Alice?" he asked, slightly confused.

"Y-you're not mad, Mrs. White?" Clark asked, just as confused, though with a look of serious concern on his face.

"Mad? How could I be mad at anyone right now? My husband brought home Superman, and I broke a baseball bat on his head thinking he was an intruder! Not only are you Superman, but you're Clark Kent! Our friend! I don't think I've had this good a time in my life!"

"Uh, Alice?" Perry broached the subject carefully. "What about at me?"

"You? Oh, honey, I have the rest of my life to find reasons to be mad at you for. Hiding Clark's identity or even our fight yesterday about spending too much time at work- I can't be mad at you for that. Maybe later, but not right now. I mean, come on. You work with Superman, for Pete's sakes!"

Relief spread across Perry's face and he gave his wife a quick kiss on the lips. Clark smiled bashfully. Then Perry White frowned. "You really took a baseball bat to Clark Kent's head?" he asked, not hiding the incredulity in his voice.

She grinned and nodded. Clark laughed. "And, might I add, that if it had been anyone else you'd hit with that amount of force, you would've had 'im at the very least knocked unconscious. Unfortunately I'm stuck with the curse to be denser than steel, and wooden bats tend to have the opposite of the intended effect on my skull." Perry and Alice burst into peals of laughter. "By the way, if you'd like I can replace that. If I had been awake before she had come in I would have found some other way to handle the situation- and I probably would have managed to get my glasses on before she saw my face."

They continued to laugh. "Kent, I don't need you to get me another baseball bat. Even if it shattered, I'm sure I can find another one just as well as you can. I'm just impressed my wife's got such an arm. You should try out for the big leagues." Perry teased. She brushed off his comment with false modesty. Clark smiled at the scene, happy for the couple, but at the same time there was a pain that struck at his chest as he watched them. This was something he couldn't have. He'd lost that chance a long time ago.

Apparently, although Perry White wasn't paying much attention to him, Alice White could read the young reporter like a book. Instantly concerned, she let the mothering side of her take over. "Clark, are you alright? Is there anything you wanna talk about?"

Perry stopped to look at him, noting the sheltered look in his eye. "No," Clark protested in his best Superman voice, trying to throw her off the trail. "No, I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. In fact you look a little green," she hinted.

His blue eyes lit up in a flash of fear for a moment, then he realized what she was referring to. He practically heaved a sigh of relief. "Oh, you meant that. No, I'm not jealous, and I'm not sick, either."

"What on earth did you think I meant?" she asked, confused about his sudden reaction. She looked at her husband quizzically, who just shrugged in return.

"Nothing on earth at all, actually. Let's just say green isn't my favorite color right now." He tried to offer a smile, but it turned out as more of a grimace.

"I'll say: the color doesn't suit you," Perry commented dryly.

Alice gave him a reproving look before nodding to Clark. "Alright, no kryptonite references. I just meant green as in jealous, you know, like Shakespeare? Do you want to talk about it?"

"I got what you meant from the green-eyed monster reference. But it's not something I want to talk about. Not right now, anyways."

"I will respect that," Alice nodded in sympathy, before rubbing her hands together and standing up. "Well, since we're all up and about ready now, how's breakfast sound?"

Clark took the road given as an escape. "Yeah, that sounds great. If you'd like, I can make it for us real quick," he added with a smile.

"Clark? You cook?" Perry seemed surprised.

"Hey, I may be a klutz sometimes, but I'm first and foremost a farmboy. And out on the farm, we do big breakfasts- enough to feed an army. Besides, it doesn't hurt to have. . . certain special advantages," he winked slyly at Alice. They made their way out to the kitchen, as Clark asked what they would want.

"Whatever your specialty is, Kent, we'll eat."

"To think, Superman's going to make our breakfast!" Alice exclaimed in delight. Though Clark had his back turned as he pulled things out of the refridgerator, she could see his shoulders tense up once more. Shooting her husband another quizzical look, Perry only could roll his eyes and shrug his shoulders once more. He then mouthed one word: Lois. As things clicked into place in her mind, she got an "oh" sort of look, mixed with pity and a slight smile at how naive youths were.

During this silent exchange, Clark, finally ready, got started on cooking up breakfast. The Whites stared at him, then shared a few meaningful glances with each other as Clark Kent became a blur and the smell of fresh, home-cooked food greeted their noses. Gusts of wind could be felt stirring around them, too fast to determine the direction from which they were coming. In a few seconds, everything was cooked and on plates before them. Eyes wide and jaws hanging open, the couple simply stared at the abundance of food, gaze shifting between it, Clark Kent, and the now perfectly clean kitchen.

"How-" began Alice, but he cut her off.

"The bacon was the easiest. That I can just cook with my eyes for a second and get perfect. The eggs are a little tricky sometimes, but I think they turned out okay this time. And then, my best specialty: french toast." He grinned.

"I didn't think we had enough eggs for french toast and eggs," Alice mused.

"Oh, you didn't. I flew out to the farm for a second and picked up a few extra. Ma doesn't mind. And on my way back I happened to save a kid from getting hit by a car, too."

Perry blinked twice. "How did we miss all that?"

"Well, you were talking. Or gesturing. And anyways, it's easy for someone who breaks the sound barrier at least five times a day. And, though I never told anyone this, I've even crossed the light barrier once."

"That's impossible! I'm sorry, but even for you, as Superman. It's just not possible." Perry exclaimed.

"Not impossible. It becomes impossible to retain shape, yes, since technically you become light in a sense, and can then pass through solid objects. Or rather, kind of like a plasma material. I don't know how better to explain it without completely geeking out on the two of you." Clark's grin spread as they tasted the food. He was excited- it was rare when he ever cooked for other people. "So? The verdict?"

"Clark, this is _amazing!_ It's so fresh! I love it."

"Mmhmm," Perry said, not wanting to stop too long between bites. "Great." He swallowed before continuing. "Although for the record, you could have fed us a shoe and we would have said it's great just because you're Superman."

Clark smiled and began to eat his own food, savoring the flavor of it. The eggs from Smallville were the best. Alice's next query however stopped him dead in his tracks. "So what were you doing at 4 am this morning? I heard a noise."

He swallowed, contemplating. "I had some things to do." He made a flying gesture with his hand.

"At four am? How long could it have taken? That had better be one heck of a story, Kent," Perry's tone was suspicious.

"Well, I mean, first it was a bank robbery and then carjackings, muggings, and whatnot. You know the usual. Nothing out of the ordinary."

Perry and Alice both stared at him dubiously. He sighed. A few people find out about his secret and there go all his acting skills. You lift the mask once, and suddenly the entire theatrical experience is ruined. "Now, Clark," Perry began in the tone of a typical father. "These night errands didn't happen to involve a certain Daily Planet reporter who happened to be very pissed off at you, did it?"

"Pfft, no." He paused, then mumbling under his breath, added, "Not at first anyways."

"Or her son?"

Clark looked as if he had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "N-n-no," he tried but to no avail. He was aware when he had lost a battle, and Perry White was an award winning journalist himself in his day. It was no use hiding the truth. "Yes," Clark replied guiltily. "I couldn't sleep. I had to. . . see him. Check on him."

Perry White arched an eyebrow.

"What? It's the truth! I wouldn't lie."

"And yet here I am talking to Clark Kent about how shocking it is that he is Superman. Irony of ironies, wouldn't you say?"

"Perry, Lois kept her promise. The window was locked. I couldn't go any closer than outside the house. And I kept silent, then I heard screams and I flew off. It's not my fault I had to come and check on him again around four, and then Lois caught me."

"Clark, I told you, give her some space for a couple of days. She'll get over it."

"What if she doesn't?" Clark snapped without meaning to, but he was too upset to care enough to apologize. "What if she stays mad at me for everything and she never gets over it? What if she never lets me see my son again?"

Alice was thoroughly confused. At his sudden outburst, she practically choked on her french toast. "What? Son?"

Clark pulled at his hair out of frustration and groaned in rage. He shut his eyes tight so as to not accidentally light anything on fire as he turned away from the couple before him. They couldn't understand, they could never understand, and he could never explain it to them. Slamming his hand down on the counter with a little more than the necessary force, which shook the entire room a bit, he finally sighed. Plastering a very fake smile onto his face, Clark turned around and looked at them again, trying to give off the impression that he was calm. "I'm sorry. I'm fine now. Really."

They appeared slightly frightened. Alice didn't buy it for a second. The pain was hidden in his eyes, and she tried placing things in some sort of order in hopes of making sense of them. From what she could gather, Jason must be Clark's son. Which would explain a lot of the pained looks he had been giving them as he stared at them this morning- the reunited, happy couple. She realized he was upset that he couldn't have that with Lois.

Alice approached him, walking around the island and placing a gentle hand on his sleeve. Instinctively, Clark looked down. Realizing she had a lot of work to do if she wanted him to feel confident again, she decided it was time to send her husband to work. "Perry, honey, why don't you head on up to the Planet. I have a feeling that Clark here might need to be a little late today. I'll make sure he's there as soon as possible." Perry White gave his wife a wary look, knowing this could take some time and concerned that he might lash out- not at her, of course, but in general. She raised her eyebrows at him pointedly, and he silently agreed. Taking his leave, Alice finally spoke to Clark. "Come on why don't you sit on the couch. I'll get you something to drink and we can talk about it."

"I don't want to talk about it," he groaned, sounding like a moody teenage boy more than Superman. She dragged him by the sleeve off to the couch as he dragged his feet, but begrudgingly followed. He plopped down on the couch with a scowl on his features, not wanting to express his feelings on the matter for fear that they might come true.

"I don't care if you _want_ to talk about it or not, you're going to. And that's final."

"Ugh, you sound like my mother," he scrunched up his face, but was clearly getting a little more comfortable.

"Good. I hope she can talk some sense into you, too, next time you see her. Now," she patted his leg and stared him in the eyes. "What's all this about Lois Lane and her son?"

Clark Kent removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Alice still couldn't help the shock she experienced over the transformation quite yet. "I made a mistake," he began slowly.

_That_ shocked her more. Not just the fact that he, being Superman, had made a mistake, but rather what that mistake was. Was he talking about Jason? Did Superman just call his own son a mistake? How could he. . . "J-Jason?" she managed to stutter out.

The expression of horror on his face reassured her. "No! I would never- no. No! Jason's not what I was talking about. Jason's. . . he's. . . he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. He's the most beautiful child I've ever seen. Jason's. . ." Clark practically choked on pride and happiness over his son. Alice couldn't help but notice the joy that occupied his visage and her heart skipped a beat at seeing it. There was no doubt that boy was his son- there was too much fatherly pride in his features to deny it. Not to mention the physical likeness. Clark let a small chuckle escape his throat. "Jason's my son," he finished proudly. "I wouldn't trade that for the world." Then his expression darkened. "That's part of what worries me."

Alice let him brood for a minute before pressing onwards. "Then. . . what mistake? You're Superman- you save the world on a daily basis, and you have a son to love- what could you have done wrong?"

He chuckled slightly. "Ah, how soon the world forgets," he commented quietly to himself. "My big mistake was in abandoning the world for five years. Not just the world, but Lois, and Jason," his voice shook with emotion. "I didn't even know about him before. . . before I left. If I had even the slightest notion that. . ." he stopped to bury his face in the palms of his hands.

Alice put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You had no way of knowing any of that. That doesn't make you a terrible person."

"Oh, it gets worse. Believe me. That time. . . when Lois and I. . . when Jason was conceived, Lois knew who I was. As in, I'm-Clark-Kent. I gave up my powers to be with her, but the world suffered so much without me- it was during the whole General Zod ordeal, and I had to get my father to give me my powers back. . . anyways, long story short, Lois was a mess. Suicidal, almost. She couldn't handle knowing who I was and what we had," he chewed his lip. "So I did something bad."

He sounded guilty, like a he'd been caught red-handed. Alice knew this would be painful, but prodded. "What did you do?"

He breathed in deeply before continuing. "I took her memories." He let that sink in before going on. "I kissed her and relieved her mind of having all of those awful memories. She was being used against me, as a hostage, and she knew my secret, and we were in love- I loved her too much to watch her suffer. After that, it was like nothing ever happened. For her anyways. But for me. . . I had never really had to be in physical pain before. I still loved her just as much, but she only mildly cared for me- Clark Kent me. I'm not so sure about Superman, but I think she still liked him well enough. Clark Kent went back to being just clumsy old Clark again, and she had no idea. It was killing me on the inside. When I found out about Krypton, and the possibility that it had been discovered, I ran. Partly for the hope of being able to have a home, but mostly to get away from the pain.

"As soon as I got there, soon as I discovered it was a graveyard, my stomach knotted up. I had nowhere. Nowhere to go, to run- no place to call home. I'd even abandoned the few I had here on earth- all for a crappy blown up piece of rock. You can't imagine how depressing a time it was for me. I was devastated. Finally I realized I had to come back.

"I don't know what I thought would happen. Logically I knew the world wouldn't just stand still. But part of me thought that nothing would change. I was dead wrong. The world had moved on- Lois had moved on. She had a child with another man, the world demanded that there was no need for a savior, and even my mother- she didn't move on without me, but she found. . . found another man to be with, her boyfriend. Not that I wasn't happy for any of the positive changes that went on- but part of me resented them for it." He smiled bitterly to Mrs. White. "How selfish is that?"

"Not selfish at all." Her reply seemed to startle him- obviously it was not what the man of steel was expecting to hear from the little old lady before him. "You've been among us for a very long time. You may be different, and by blood you might not be, but you are still one of us. You're more human than you realize, Clark. It's not selfish to want to be happy. It's human. And for the record, making mistakes is a human thing too. Why do you think we need you?" she smiled at him sweetly.

"But. . . I'm Superman. I'm supposed to save the world, show humanity the way of light, lead by example. . . it's not right for me to act like you. Not to sound like I'm condescending or anything," he added quickly, not wanting to offend. "It's just that I'm held at a different level than the rest of you. You could argue that it's a higher one, but in my opinion I'm the bottom-most rung on the ladder. N-not that I'm complaining. Superman would never complain about saving the world. I-It's just-" he struggled with his words, suddenly realizing how overcomplicated he was making things.

Alice smiled knowingly. "But you're not Superman, are you? You'e Clark Kent. You were raised here, by humans, in this world. It's only natural for you to have these doubts."

He nodded absently. "I know, I know. My mom tells me the same thing."

Alice let a small laugh escape. "Of course she does. You know, if every man in the world would just listen to the women in their lives, the world would be a better place," she nudged him slightly with her elbow, regretting it the second she did so. He really was like steel. "Look, I know your problem may seem unique to you, but it's the same age-old question we all have. Who are we, where are we going, did we do the right thing- it's all been explored before. Now you're just dealing with the consequences of your decisions, and you sit around moping because you've never had to before." He opened his mouth to protest, but she held up a hand to stop him. "I know what you want to say, just let me finish. What you need to do is just prove yourself to her again. She loved you before- she still loves you."

To this he scowled. "I don't know about that. Not after these last few days."

"You obviously know nothing about women. We tend not to 'forgive and forget' so easily. You're gonna need to bear it for the time being- but the longer you go, the easier it will be in the end. You're the father of her child: there's obviously something there."

He shook his head. "It'll be too late. She already has Richard, and they're engaged- he's your nephew! Doesn't that bother you, that I'm pining after your nephew's fiancee?"

"Richard's a good man: but come on, let's face it. If she loved him, she would've married him back when she was pregnant, or after Jason was born- or at any point during these last five years. I think even Richard recognizes that at this point. Point is, she was waiting for someone. For you. Even if she didn't remember, some part of her knew exactly what had happened. Besides, the man's practically your replacement. Dark brown hair, blue eyes- he even _flies_, for goodness's sakes. If that's not a type, then I don't know what is." She chuckled. "If she's waited this long for you to come back, then she'll keep waiting for you to sweep her off her feet."

The wheels turned in Clark Kent's mind. It couldn't be possible- could it? Lois Lane was waiting for him, for him to give her a reason to not get married? "I don't know," he mused dubiously. "She seemed pretty pissed at me last night- she even had the nerve to flip me off in front of Jimmy- and Jason! Then after she saw me last night at four am- I-I panicked and I just flew off the second she opened her mouth. I-I just couldn't handle anything else for the night. I couldn't take another one of her tirades- it was a long night last night. I just wanted to get here and get some rest. Now. . . I don't know if she'll ever forgive me. I broke her rules: I went to see Jason, even when I knew she locked the window to keep me out. And I haven't even told you about _how_ she found out I was Superman this time around. Jason knew it first, and I told him to keep it a secret, and he did, but obviously misinterpretted when that applied, 'cause apparently Lois hadn't told Richard Superman was his father yet, and Jason pointed out to Richard that I, Clark, was his father, which was awkward, but then he confronted Lois with it and she told him it was Superman. . . and then all hell broke loose." Clark stopped himself from divulging everything. It became an ugly argument after that, and already it felt like he was rambling.

Alice pursed her lips. "Well, it certainly wasn't right to run off on her like that. If you had talked or explained yourself, maybe she would have been more receptive. And I'm not even going to pretend to understand what happened when you told them the truth. But it won't matter in the long run, so long as you do talk with her about it all- and soon. You've already lost over five years with the woman you loved, with the son you never knew you had. Don't waste a second more." She smiled comfortingly.

Clark thought about this for a minute. She was right. He didn't have time to waste. He'd lost so much already, running off on that stupid journey for five years- _you selfish jerk, why'd you ever have to leave-_ he berated himself mentally. But Alice White was right. If he wanted a chance at even having a relationship with his son- let alone Lois- he would have to fix things.

His only concern was whether they were beyond repair or not.

"You're right, Alice," he sighed. "I need to get my act together." Clark gathered himself and stood up.

She nodded her head and smiled. "Now that's a good little superhero." She caught him rolling his eyes. _How human,_ she mused before continuing. "You'd better get over to the office if you don't want Perry to skin your hide with a piece of kryptonite. Or Lois, for that matter."

He chuckled. "Thanks, Alice. I really appre-" suddenly he cut off and stood up straighter. A distant look crossed his features as he seemed to intently focus on something. Alice was confused for a moment. "I-I'm really sorry Alice. I gotta go."

"Go? Go where?" Her question was answered the second he spun around and appeared in his blue and red tights. He gave her a curt nod before taking off, leaving the papers on the table ruffling in the breeze.

"Wow."

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry it's taken so long! lots of tests and work to do, not to mention the rest of life. . . anyways, it's long, but I hope you enjoy it anyways! Next chapters wont be so long-winded, I swear!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Hello, and **Congratulations Class of 2011!** Woooo-hoooooooooooo! Yay! Anyways, as a great way to kick off the summer, I have granted you all the next chapter of this story (and yes, it's a little bit shorter, but still same style of the other chapters). It focuses more on Lois's perspective, because I know a lot of you were pretty mad at her in the reviews you left (don't worry, you were meant to be), and I decided it was time to sort of explain things to you on that front. Besides telling me your thoughts on the chapter, let me know whether you think the next chapter should be on Richard or another Perry White "episode" of sorts. So now, without further ado (excepting the disclaimer below), here's chapter three!

**Disclaimer:** I don't care one bit that I don't own Superman, because regardless I would still be on this site, posting more stories about him and wreaking havoc on his life. . . then piecing it back together. . . then wreaking havoc once more. . . then pretending to resolve all conflict and wrap it up nicely. . . only to come back and attack it with more chaos than you previously thought possible. . . .

* * *

Saving the world was what he did.

He couldn't put that aside for anything, no matter how desperately he might have wanted to. Just to spend another second gazing at Lois, at Jason. His family.

And off the record, he needed some source of income, too. So he couldn't entirely abandon his day job just to talk with them, either. But he could take whatever chance he had to talk to Lois, privately. Provided he ever got that chance.

Clark Kent's biggest trouble at the moment was that Lois was not giving him said chance.

He watched her not with the lovestruck stare as he had ususally reserved for her in the workplace, but rather, one of mild irritation. She would make sure that she was constantly busy- whether typing up an article, talking on the phone, traversing the office for a cup of coffee (which Clark had come to acknowledge as a blatant jibe at his unnecessary services, considering he had always got her coffee). Before, he had hoped that Perry might have the good graces to team them up again, and for a while it seemed that way. That's what had made the reveal that much more painful for her- they were friends again, and he hadn't told Lois in the first place, let alone _now_. But now that Perry White knew his secret, the man had obviously determined to stay out of his two star-reporter's personal dealings. Something about not wanting their little "spat" to ruin his newspaper.

He sighed and straightened the paperwork on his desk. It was Wednesday, and Clark was to stay at his editor-in-chief's house again. And despite his best efforts to try to catch Lois's attention, all day long she succeeded in fending him off. In both guises. He had even gone up to the roof once, following her, as Superman, and the second she laid eyes on him she turned back around, went down the elevator, and back to her desk- from where she noted that Clark had already returned, frowning at his computer screen.

She had let her hair down at some point during the day, and was staring irritably at her computer monitor. But a flash of sadness entered into her eyes for a moment, and suddenly Clark was struck by how hurt she was. Her anger was a mask- not to say that it wasn't real, because it was very, _very,_ painfully real- she had made him aware of that on multiple occasions- and he would never degrade her emotions so- but her angry exterior was merely a deflection from her scarred insides.

Alice had to have been right. He needed to help her at the least, to prove himself to her again, before she got so mad at him that she actually set a wedding date with Richard just to spite him.

Lois stood up quickly and made a bee-line for the bathroom then. Clark was about to follow her when he heard sirens in the distance. He sighed once more and turned, heading for the elevator. Out of the corner of his eye he thought he saw Lois stop and stare at him before shaking her head and stalking off again to the ladies' room.

_This is gonna be a long day._

*****S*****

Lois Lane could hold a grudge. Of all people, Lois Lane should have been the one person in the world who could hold a grudge. And she had made it appear so to everyone around her- she'd even had the nerve to flip him off in the office, in front of Richard and Perry and Jimmy and Jason.

Oh, no. Her anger was real.

But so were her tears.

Lois cursed herself silently as she blotted at her face with toilet paper tissue, sitting on the toilet seat in the bathroom stall at the Daily Planet on Wednesday afternoon. Luckily, Superman was out of the office, on a rescue, so she didn't have to worry about him hearing her crying over him. So long as she could pull herself together before he got back.

She sighed. She didn't want to have to face him like this. Every time they'd spoken, or been forced to come into any sort of contact with each other, she'd found enough anger within her to brush him off, send him packing. She knew he was concerned for her- and she had no doubt in her mind that he wanted to make amends, to try to become friends again- and when he thought she wasn't looking, she could see that he longed for more. He hadn't gotten over her- and in all honesty, Lois believed he never would. She had bore his child, for God's sakes! That wasn't something he was ready to forsake just because she was pissed off at him.

What scared Lois most of all was that she felt the same. Somewhere, deep down, in some place she either didn't remember or didn't want to, she knew she cared for him. She had loved him before- that much was obvious. But for all that he'd done to her, however much he had ruined her life, he was apart of her- and at times like this, all she wanted to do was to run into his arms and cry on his shoulder, and have him carry her high above the city just to put her mind at ease.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid_. . . It was his own fault that things had to be this way. He left her. He took her memories, and refused to return them to her, even after finding out about Jason. Not to mention the fact that the way he'd told her his secret identity had completely blind-sided her. And simultaneously crushed and angered Richard in the process. And yet, here she was, taking a five minute break in the ladies' room, bawling her eyes out over the man that broke her heart.

With the new information about his identity, Lois realized that the universe had handed her a gift. It had given her his heart, and she held it in her hands, with him completely at her mercy- and for an otherwise invulnerable being, it must have been quite the terrifying experience.

But somewhere between trying to strangle the life out of him and driving him out of his mind with frustration, Lois found mercy in her heart. She didn't want to find it, but it was there. His face after he stopped by to check on Jason anyways the night before- fear mixed with longing- sure, it had pissed her off further at the time, but looking back she felt her heart ache at the look in his eyes, and she knew she might have taken things too far.

A knock sounded on the stall door, making Lois jump and brush away the remains of her tears. "Hurry up in there! God, two stalls, and one's out of order and you have to spend forever in the only open one? Come on, there's only one excuse for that, and I didn't see any men come in here- and honestly, besides me, I don't think any of the women at the Planet would dare to try something like _that_- oh, nevermind. I guess that makes two of us. Hi Lois," the woman spoke with a cheeky grin.

Lois scowled at Cat Grant, tissues wadded up in her hand as she squeezed her way past to the sink, tossing her trash as she walked past. "You know, Cat, you really know how ruin someone's mood."

Cat continued talking despite the fact that she had locked herself in the stall Lois had just occupied. "Really, Lois? 'Cause it looked to me like your mood was ruined before I walked in." The woman squeezed her way past and shut the bathroom stall door behind her with a loud click.

Lois just rolled her eyes as she dried her hands. "No, my definition of a ruined mood is getting angry at someone. Not just being slightly upset."

"In that case, have you ever been in a good mood?"

She glared at the reflection of the stall door before reapplying foundation around her eyes to make them look less puffy. "Ha, ha. What do you want, Cat?"

There was a flush of the toilet before she reappeared and began washing her hands. "I'm just curious as to why you're upset, Lois. We're friends, aren't we? Or can't we at least pretend to be for the moment?"

Lois glared at her with a mascara brush in hand. "Cat, you're a gossip columnist. And a bit of a cad. No offense, but I don't think you're exactly the person I want to be talking to about this issue."

"Oh, so it's a man issue." When Lois didn't respond except to begin reapplying her mascara carefully, the woman continued. "Believe me Lois when I say that I'm _exactly_ the person you want to be talking to about any sort of problems the other half of humanity causes. I've experienced most of them. What is it, Richard's cheating? He's not good enough for you? Is that why you two haven't gotten married yet?"

"Oh, grow up Cat."

"Yep. I called it. He's cheating. Let the record stand- I will brand that man myself if you want me to, Lois honey. Speaking of which, if he is cheating, why is he not dead already? I mean, you're not exactly the forgiving type-"

"Oh, would you drop it already Cat? He's not cheating! Nobody's cheating! Get off my back!"

The shock was evident across Cat Grant's face. There was a pause a moment, neither moving, until Lois finally went back to fixing her makeup in silence, putting on perhaps the third coat of mascara absentmindedly. "Uh, Lois? Is there something else going on with you? Are you che. . . uh, are you and Richard really not doing alright?"

The tone in her voice had changed so dramatically that Lois felt genuine care behind it. That was enough to start the water works again, and Lois bit her lower lip as she crumpled to the floor, feeling the fresh mascara run down her face with her salty tears. Cat's arm wrapped around her as she sat down next to her, making soft shushing noises and patting her on the head.

Finally, when her hysterics had begun to quiet down, Cat asked once more. "What's wrong?"

Lois breathed out a sigh, and began in a shaky voice. "Um, R-richard and I. . . I mean, it's not really anything like that, no one's cheating or anything. But things are s-strained right now because. . . because he found out something. . . about me, that he never knew before, and even I wasn't sure what happened. . . or if. . . I just don't know what to think anymore. And n-now-"

The bathroom door suddenly opened up and Cat's head snapped up to glare at the intruder. "Do you _mind?_ God, Kent, you're such an idiot sometimes. Wrong door, you moron!"

His eyes widened at the retort and he struggled to close his mouth, but his eyes remained on Lois- Lois Lane, broken and crying on the floor of the women's bathroom. Never in his life had he ever wanted to sweep her up and fly off with her more than in that moment- if only to comfort her. If only he hadn't had to go on that rescue fifteen minutes ago, or maybe gotten back sooner- then maybe it could be him sitting there next to Lois, her head resting on his shoulder, tears leaking onto his ugly old suit, her hands gripping his arm tightly as she cried to him, then maybe erasing all her fears with a kiss. . . "Um, uh, L-Lois?"

"Get out, Kent!" Cat's tone was hard.

"Are you guys alr-"

"I swear to god, Clark, if you ask if I'm alright one more time in the next few days, I'm gonna rip your head off in a cruel and unusual fashion, capice?" Lois spoke this time, her eyes darkening in a deeper glare.

He vanished just as quickly as he appeared, but Cat appeared more puzzled and thoughtful. She knew those reactions as well as anyone- and it practically smacked of a woman scorned. She broached the topic carefully. "Lois, you said that you and Richard were having problems, but neither of you were having an affair, right?"

She nodded looking dejectedly to the floor.

Cat thought for a moment before cautiously continuing. "Is it because of an ex?" Lois didn't flinch. "Is it because of Clark?"

_That_ got a reaction. Lois snapped out of her daze and looked at the other woman with wide, terrified eyes. Cat simply tilted her head at the reporter, as if daring her to defy the observation. Lois sank further onto the floor, hugging her knees now. "Maybe. Yes."

Cat's better judgement won out over her curiousity, and for a moment Lois had a brief respite. They just sat there, each thinking of the issue- Cat trying to place things in some sort of logical order, Lois mulling over her thoughts. Finally, biting her lip, Cat crossed the final threshold- the final piece to the puzzle at hand. "Is. . . is Jason Clark's?"

Lois didn't even bother to look at the gossip columnist this time, choosing to not even answer, only shutting her eyes against the threatening words.

It all fell into place for Cat in that moment, and she was washed anew with the pain Lois must have been feeling. "Oh, honey," she soothed. "And now you're confused because he's back and he didn't expect you'd be engaged with a kid- and then he find's out the boy is his- I mean, I suppose it's kind of obvious when you think about it. They do look a lot alike. And now you're wondering if you ever should have let him go and Richard's too nice to say anything, but you and he both know that this has changed your relationship dramatically."

Lois opened her eyes at the conclusion of Cat's statement, because it was all so. . . _true_. "That- that's exactly it. H-how did you-"

"A woman's intuition. Plus the way he reacted when he saw you just now- there's no denying he never had a crush on you- and Jason does look strikingly like him the more you think about it. I mean, come on. How stupid do you think I am? Don't answer that," she added at Lois's dubious glance. "It's just. . . I happen to know a lot about relationships. Never had to deal with something like this personally, but I know the basics. It's never easy going through a breakup, or unforseeable circumstances within a relationship. It makes you doubt everything you've ever done."

Lois sighed. "I know exactly what you're saying. I mean, I do love Richard, I really do. He's a great man, and a wonderful father to Jason, and he loves me deeply. And I love him. But. . ." her voice trailed off.

"But it sounds to me like that's what you're trying to convince yourself of. It's what you're telling yourself to think. But it's not what you really want, is it?"

She shook her head slightly at that- though whether that meant she was denying the claim or agreeing with it, Cat didn't know. "But it's so much more complicated than that, Cat. More complicated than you can possibly imagine."

She shrugged. "Love always is. Doesn't matter the circumstances. Don't do what you think is right, Lois. Do what you want to do." She paused, a smile creeping into her countenance, unable to resist the hook. "Or I suppose, considering the situation, _who_ you want to do," she whispered conspiratorially.

Lois rolled her eyes and smacked her friend on the arm. "Thanks for that. You just had to throw that in there, didn't you?"

She shrugged. "I couldn't resist. I set myself up too perfectly."

Lois sighed, wiping her face before standing up and returning to the bathroom mirror to fix herself up once again. Cat was right, she needed to come to a decision soon.

"One more question though, Lois."

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm not gonna like it?"

Cat grinned. "Because it's me you're dealing with. So, how was Clark in the sack?"

Lois thought a moment, a blissful smile stealing its way across her lips. The flashes of things she could remember ran through her mind- waking in bed next to him, in some sort of ice palace, kissing him on multiple occassions, his well-sculpted body- it frustrated her to think she might never remember what they had shared that night fully, but the thoughts still made her smile. The fact that she couldn't remember that night irritated her in the slightest- she didn't want to lie any more than she had to.

So, in order to save face and Clark's hide, she pulled a Clark and lied by omission. "Let's put it this way: Kansas farmboys are grown good."

Cat laughed, succeeding in lightening the mood. She clapped Lois on the shoulder. "So you want me to shoot Clark or Richard the stink eye today?"

Lois laughed. "Let's go with Clark. I've been mad enough at him- he'll understand it. Or at least he'll think he does. I just want to see him squirm some more."

"Fair enough. Clark Kent will be victimized by my cold shoulder. In the meantime though, I should get back to work before people start wondering about me. You should too, by the way."

"Thanks, Cat. For everything. It really did help to be able to vent to someone else about this. Get a fresh perspective of sorts."

She nodded. "No problem. See you outside."

Lois blew out a sigh of relief after the woman left, examining her face in the reflection a moment before deciding this was as good as she was going to get and putting away her makeup kit. At least now she was less stressed by it all, and Lois had a feeling that she knew what she wanted now- despite the guilt that hung over her for thinking it.

Patting her hair one more time and smoothing out her skirt, Lois gave herself one last glance over in the mirror and with a self-satisfied nod turned and walked back into the bullpen with a smile on her face.

And why shouldn't she have been happy for the moment? She had the best job in the world, was an ace reporter, had good friends, had a beautiful son, and a man who loved her- and whom she was certain she could love in return.

After all, she had loved him these past five years despite everything. And Lois was just about ready to take their relationship one step further.

* * *

**A/N:** Let me know what you think? Lois got some sense talked into her (hopefully). Tell me what you want to see happen next- review!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Hey peoples! I've given you what you asked for: this section's entirely focused on Richard White (with a little Perry... after all, he's the title character). Hope this gives a little more insight into the reveal and why Lois got mad at Clark- plus more into Richard's character. I am of the opinion that he's the sort of guy that would be too shocked to respond angrily- in an external manner anyways. The anger's still there. :) oh well. Read and review, as usual!

**Disclaimer:** Not even Clark Kent fully owns Superman. The entire world keeps control over what Superman does and what crises he may respond to. Therefore it seems ridiculous and quite redundant to assume that I, a humble character abuser, might lay any claim to the man of steel because of what goes down in these stories. :) Just sayin.

* * *

Richard White watched through the glass of his office- glass that seemed to encase him in a bubble more than allow him to view the bullpen as though on high- watching carefully as Clark walked back from the bathroom with a look of defeat on his face, his shoulders slumped over just a little more than they usually were. A few minutes later, Cat Grant exited the ladies' room, to be followed closely by his fiancee, Lois.

Richard sighed. He had been feeling more and more like he was becoming a spectator in his own life recently. Existing, but not really living; present, but not of any relevance. He had no idea what he could even do about it. He hated this feeling of helplessness- the looks of sorrow he got from Clark and even Lois at times. And he'd be damned if he didn't say even his uncle had been looking at him differently today, as if he knew everything. But he didn't know, nobody could possibly know. It was too dangerous for people to know. Too dangerous for him to know, even. He only wished it were more dangerous for Clark.

Richard turned back to his computer in his office with a sigh, noting that he had only an hour before he had to leave to pick up Jason. Funny- if he didn't think about it, Richard could still pretend everything was all right still, that everything was back to normal once again. Before Clark, and certainly before Superman. Before Lois stopped loving him- though when he thought about it, he couldn't exactly pinpoint when that was.

Before his life was in shambles. Before his world had stopped spinning.

Richard opened up his email and briefly ran though his inbox. Junk, junk, boring stuff, Jason's school newsletter, more junk, editorials to review that people were either too lazy or too cheap to print out for him- which in his mind he labeled to be junk, as well. Richard frowned and brushed aside the mouse in frustration. Nothing good enough to distract him from his own personal problems- he fought the urge to open up a game of solitaire, since that was a black hole for him and would ensure his attention would be held captive without release from the game for the next hour or two. Sighing, he leaned back in his chair and gave in to fate, shutting his eyes and allowing his thoughts to flow freely through his frazzled mind.

His world had stopped spinning the moment he found out his son wasn't his own.

How was one even supposed to take that? In stride? And it wasn't the way he should have found out about something like that, either. Not that there's really any good way to find out that your son isn't yours. But surely it would have been better if Lois had at least told him Superman was Jason's father. . . or if Clark had cared enough to tell her that he was Superman.

Instead, he had to watch as Jason grew more and more attached to Clark, inexplicably. He had to watch as Clark's blue eyes sparkled down at his- Richard's- own son. He had to watch when, conversing casually with Clark, Jason ran up to the man and jumped into his lap, Clark catching him with surprising ease and fluidity.

Watching when Jason called him "Dad" by accident.

And that's when it hit him. They looked so similar that Richard was surprised he never noticed it before. Of _course_ Jason was Clark's son. They had the same eyes, same hair, same goofy smile and the same clumsy streak.

Richard's jaw had hung open in shock as he stared at the two, noticing Clark's eyes go fearful as he glanced at Richard, knowing full well it was too late. Noticing Jason's eyes as they widened in kind, turning to look at his father of five years as he realized his mistake.

And that's when Lois had walked in.

Richard swore silently to himself in his office as he tried to shake his mind of the memory. _Work,_ he reminded himself harshly, and threw himself back into an article he was supposed to be editing, taking his red pen and his neon yellow highlighter to the paper but finding little use for either. He seemed to be just barely getting by, his mind half-focused on his job. That is until he reached for the next article on his desk.

The byline listed Clark Kent's name on the article.

A surge of anger swelled within him, and suddenly he found himself completely engrossed in his work, using the power of his red pen with a vengeance. He crossed out the name in the byline and wrote in its place, "Superman," then scratched that out with one line and replaced it with "dick," to be replaced once more with "LIAR," in all caps and underlined twice. Partially satisfied, Richard continued through the article, not even sure what he was supposed to be reading about except that it wasn't wrong enough. He wanted it to be full of mistakes, spelling errors, wrong facts and disreputable sources. He wanted to rewrite paragraphs completely and discuss the treachery of Clark Kent: a traitor for misleading the world to believe he was a super guy when really the man was a cowardly, lying jackass. He wanted to break his pen in half and spill all the red ink out onto the pages, completely ruining it, and then having the satisfaction of saying, "Sorry, Supes. Guess you just weren't on the ball this time," and throwing it back in his face in front of the entire bullpen. He added commentary whenever he thought of something cruel to say, littering the pages with profanity and spiteful speech. Then Richard drew more lines and x's blindly across the pages. Lots of lines.

Red lines.

Blood lines.

That's when he stopped himself. He looked over the three pages he had just demolished and shook his head, setting his pen down. "What are you doing, Richard?" he muttered to himself. Objectively speaking, Clark Kent was an excellent writer- almost as good as Lois- and he never had any spelling errors- much unlike Lois. And as far as Superman went, he was just as good of a person. Usually. Richard grumbled and pushed the article to the edge of his desk before turning back to his computer screen- staring at it blankly, forcing himself to become objective once again, to stay in that journalist mindset.

At this time, however, the last thing Richard wanted was to be objective. He wanted to yell and scream and cuss and kick and punch and strangle and stomp and completely beat the crap out of Clark Kent. To put it mildly. But he knew he couldn't do that. For one, he was pretty sure he would break multiple bones if he actually tried to hit Superman, unless he took some kryptonite to the man- which Richard was pretty sure would only land him in jail. And secondly, he couldn't do it because of Jason. Because he still loved the boy no matter whose son he was, because he wanted to prove that blood wasn't always thicker than water. Because he wanted his life back.

And because he still loved Lois.

Richard groaned and put his head in his hands. He was completely whipped. Why? She had betrayed his trust, though in her defense it seemed she wasn't completely aware of the situation. Still. He should have been madder than hell at her. But he wasn't. It was just Clark.

A knock on his office door made him jump and he snapped his head up to be greeted by the form of his uncle. "Oh, it's just you."

Perry seemed guarded. "Uh, is this a bad time?"

"No, no. Come on in." Richard pushed a piece of paper over to cover up Clark's article so that his uncle wouldn't see it and all of the "corrections" he had added. Perry caught the motion, but ignored it for the time being.

Perry White closed the door behind him, which signified to Richard that he had something important he wanted to talk about. Richard tore his gaze away from the computer screen and stared his uncle straight in the eyes, waiting for it to begin.

"Look son, are you all right?" he moved towards his nephew's desk and leaned against it casually. "You haven't really seemed yourself lately."

Richard couldn't hold eye contact with his family member while lying through his teeth, so he returned his gaze to his monitor, scanning his inbox fruitlessly for the umpteenth time. "I'm fine, Uncle Perry. I've just been a little bit busy lately."

"Busy, huh?" Perry asked as he discreetly brushed aside the blank paper hiding Clark's article, glancing over it, trying to hide his surprise at the various negative labels he had given the man made of steel. "Lois, or something else?"

Richard didn't respond. The editor tried a different tactic, trying to get his nephew to open up to him more. He held up Clark's article before speaking. "So was it the subject matter you weren't interested in here or the speaker?"

Richard's head snapped up and he stared at the older man with a look of surprise. His jaw worked to find an excuse, but at his uncle's arched eyebrow, he gave in and shut his mouth, releasing a deep breath as he closed his eyes.

Perry continued. "I mean, it's one thing to be not like reading op-ed articles on the city police force's increased competence ever since Superman's return, but to call the writer every one of these things? That's an entirely different ball game."

Richard sighed and stared at his desk dejectedly. "How long have you known?"

"Not long. Found it all out last night, actually. And when I say all, I do mean _all_."

Richard nodded slowly. "Then you know why I'm mad at him," he stated in a monotone voice.

Perry nodded in turn. "Yeah, I know." A pause came between them. "Why didn't you say anything? I would have tried to help sooner, maybe given the three of you some space and not pushed articles or projects on you all- at the very least I would have been more considerate of it all. You didn't even have to tell me Clark was Superman- but for Pete's sake, Richard, don't leave me in the dark like that! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find out from somebody else when my own nephew's been keeping it a secret?"

Richard shot him an irritated glare. "And do you have any idea how _I_ found out the truth? Believe me, my story will top yours. I found out when Jason accidentally called Clark "Dad" in front of me- here at work, though after hours- we were lucky everyone else had already left- and Clark just stared at me with this deer in the headlights look- and then Lois walked in and I asked if it was true. She swore up and down to me, Perry, that Clark Kent was not Jason's father by any stretch of the imagination- though she never said I was the boy's father, either. So I argued with her that they looked too much alike to _not_ be related, and that's when she dropped the S-bomb on me. Superman," he clarified at his uncle's confused look. "She said Superman was Jason's father. I practically froze in shock, and Clark all the while was trying to calm Lois down and tell her something urgently, with a look of panic- and then he stopped, too, as if he had heard something. But no one cared or connected anything at the time- since Lois and I were in the middle of a blow-up fight- until Jason spoke the magic words."

_"Aren't you gonna go help, Mr. Clark?"_

He stopped himself suddenly, clamping his eyes shut tightly against the pain of the memories as they washed over him, breaking down all of his fiery resolve faster than a speeding bullet. The words echoed through Richard's mind- unbidden and certainly unwanted- as clearly as if his son. . . as if Jason was right there speaking them, he edited his thoughts. Why couldn't he still edit articles the way he did his mind? His chest constricted suddenly, aching with a pain that Richard had become well acquainted with these past three weeks or so, tearing him apart inside. He felt a sob get wrenched from his throat, and he leaned forward over his desk holding his head in his hands as the memory of that night fought to the surface of Richard's mind

_"Aren't you gonna go help, Mr. Clark?"_

_Clark had already been trying to back his way out of the conversation, loosening his tie at the time, and he suddenly turned ashen at the simple question from his son. Both Lois and Richard looked at their son, then at Clark Kent in curiosity. _

_"Go help with what, Jason?" Richard asked. Their- her- Superman's son gestured out the window vaguely and continued to rearrange the pens on Clark's desk._

_"Fire," he stated simply._

_Suddenly they both snapped their heads up to look at Clark, who was beginning to look positively green with the realization that his fate was inescapable. He opened his mouth, only to shut it again along with his eyes. _

_"Clark," Lois whispered hoarsely, willing herself to believe it wasn't true. It couldn't be true. Her son had obviously made a mistake somewhere, it was all just some big misunderstanding. Wasn't it? She could have never been so blind. Right?_

_But all her reasoning disappeared when he opened his eyes once more, Lois finally noting what Richard had been commenting on all along, noting how blue those eyes really were. Jason's color of blue. Superman blue. He saw it all click in place for her, and the horror and fury set in. _

_She really hadn't known._

_Clark didn't have time for this, obviously, as he was practically shaking with the urge to run. He seemed to be good at that, in Richard's opinion. He ran a lot. "I'm so sorry, Lois. I have to go. Please forgive me," he tacked on the last sentence as a whisper, a desperate plea. He had cast a wary glance towards Richard but said nothing more there. No, "sorry for killing your world, Richard" or "gee Richard, I wish I had never taken advantage of your fiancee and her blatantly obvious Superman fantasies." Nothing for Richard. Everything for Lois. And even that didn't amount to much._

_And then, Clark Kent vanished from sight- the only remnant left of him being his horn-rimmed glasses sitting innocuously on the floor before them, his overcoat discarded in the distance. Richard assumed he had discarded the rest of his clothes as he underwent the change. Both Richard and Lois's jaws remained unhinged in shock and absolute fury. Then, in one swift move, Lois Lane set her jaw firmly, and Richard watched in surprise as she walked forward, picked up the frames and snapped them in half with no hesitation._

Perry remained respectfully silent. His nephew obviously had some strong feelings on the matter, if the language he had written in the margins of Clark's piece was to be any judge. Perry didn't want to provoke him- he'd let him explain on his own terms. But he knew this was killing the man. It was killing him that this had happened, killing him that he couldn't do anything about it, killing him to keep it all bottled inside for fear of making things worse. Perry's heart went out to his nephew, breaking as he looked at him. It was like he was mourning his own life. And so Perry White waited as the younger man grappled with the memories, filtering through to figure out what to say.

Finally Richard sighed and looked at his uncle's kind, understanding face. He wasn't pressuring him, but he knew he had to explain what happened. "He. . . Jason asked Clark. . . if he was going to go help. Apparently he had heard a fire alarm or something- and just like that Clark was caught. He told Lois he was sorry, then ran off. Or flew off, or whatever the hell he actually does. Then Lois broke his glasses in half, and left their remains with a note on his desk that just said "whoops," and she didn't speak for the entire rest of the night. We went home immediately, I slept in the guest bedroom, and we went to work separately in the morning. I let her drop Jason off at school. The only thing that got her talking to me again was when Clark came up to her the next day at work, trying to apologize. She wouldn't let him, so she ignored him and turned to talk to me."

Perry stayed silent a while longer, mulling over his thoughts. "Well, I guess that explains some of her actions lately. How long ago was this?"

"Three weeks tomorrow," Richard responded numbly.

"Great Caesar's ghost," Perry muttered. Then he frowned. "That was it though? When I spoke with Clark he made it sound like things went a lot worse."

Richard decided to ignore the fact that his uncle had spoken with Clark about it before choosing to approach his own nephew for the time being. That stung. Almost as much as it did that his uncle didn't think that was bad enough. "Oh, it did get worse. I guess it was about a week or so ago, Lois had finally decided to let Clark speak, give him a chance to redeem himself slightly by explaining how any of it happened. That's when it got worse."

"By redeeming himself, he made it worse?" Perry couldn't hide his confusion.

Richard gave a wry sort of half-smile before explaining. "He _tried _to redeem himself. Doesn't mean he did. Did he happen to mention to you in your little chat that he stole Lois's memories of the time when they were together?"

Perry paled. "He did what now?" his voice was hoarse with shock as he felt his throat close up. Superman or no- major relationship issues or not- stealing memories wasn't something Perry White was about to approve of.

Richard continued. "Yeah. That's why Lois didn't know until recently that Superman was Jason's father. And I guess, at the time, she knew Clark was Superman, too. He took a considerable chunk away from her. So Lois confronted him about it, and said it might be easier for her to understand if he returned the memories to her."

"But. . ." Perry prodded for more.

Richard sighed. "He refused. He said that it might put her right back to where she was at the time, and that he wasn't sure it was safe. He didn't know if it ever would be, but certainly not when she was still this angry with him." He scoffed. "A gallant gentleman to the end."

Perry looked down at his feet uncomfortably. He hated this. He couldn't pick a side- couldn't choose between two men who were both as close as sons to him. As much as he knew Clark had royally screwed up, he also knew that he wouldn't have done something as horrible as that without good reason. Not to say that he wasn't going to give Clark Kent an earful when he saw him later. Oh no. That was coming. But Perry knew this wasn't the whole story.

Unfortunately, he also knew how badly this was hurting Richard.

"She kissed him, Perry," his nephew's tone sounded haunted as he suddenly spoke again, and a pang of hurt stabbed at Perry White's heart upon seeing and hearing how perturbed the man truly was. "I saw her- she doesn't know I did, this was supposedly private- but I saw nonetheless. She kissed him, trying to steal back her memories- and you couldn't tell me that Clark didn't enjoy it, despite whatever guilt he might attest to having. He loved every second of it- but obviously it didn't work, because she was even more upset afterwards, and he tried explaining to her it seemed- Lois actually didn't tell me about this part, so I can only infer that he was apologizing more. Sure, she might have gotten angry at him again- perhaps even more angry- but that doesn't change the fact that she still kissed him. And what if he had decided to give back her memories- would she have left me for him then and there, Uncle Perry?"

Perry winced. "I don't know, son. I just don't know."

"It doesn't matter anyways," he muttered. "I'm losing her, Perry. If she was ever mine to begin with, I've just about lost her now. As soon as her anger wears off, she'll be gone. And I don't know what to do about that."

Perry's chest tightened at the pain in his nephew's voice. He didn't know what would make any of this better. Clark was an idiot for ever leaving, or for ever falling for Lois. Lois was an idiot for being too angry and hard-headed to see the pain she was causing everyone. Richard was an idiot for getting involved with Lois five years ago, or for thinking he could keep her now. He, Perry White, was an idiot for not seeing any of this coming, for not putting a stop to it while he still could, years before. But he couldn't change any of that.

And in all honesty, Perry wasn't sure what he would change. Despite all of the problems they now faced, their decisions had led them all to reach this point- and at some point or another they had all been happy because of it. Richard and Lois were happy for almost five years. Clark and Lois were happy before that. None would sacrifice the brief moments of love they'd been given just to avoid the heartache they were experiencing now, and he knew it. Things just had to work themselves out before they were once again happy in the end.

Finally, Perry shook himself from his thoughts and placed a comforting hand on his nephew's shoulder. "Do what you have to do, Richard. Don't be afraid to fight for her, and don't be afraid to lose her, either. Lois will make her own decisions, and in any scenario, life will go on. Just remember that."

Richard looked up at his uncle with eyes full at once of both hope and despair, noting the sagacity of the man's words. Perry straightened, and gave him one last pat on the back, heading towards the door. Suddenly the man paused and turned back to glance at his nephew, hand on the door handle. "Oh, and one last thing. Make sure you destroy that copy of Kent's article so nobody finds it, and maybe get another copy to edit, all right?"

And with a slight, sad sort of smile, Perry White left Richard's office.

Richard sat staring into empty space a moment before turning back to face Superman's article. He sighed, and sent an email to Clark asking for him to drop by a reprint at some point today- hoping he would be out of the office by the time the man got around to it, for fear that he might completely lose it if he was forced to interact with him one more time and still play nice. Then he pulled out a black sharpie and scribbled loosely over all three pages of Kent's red-tinged article, before running it through the shredder.

He glanced out across the bullpen and rested his gaze on his fiancee. She looked like she had been crying, though she did well to hide it. He just knew her tells by now. He glanced at the time, and decided it was just about time to leave so he could go pick up Jason from school. He gathered his things into his briefcase and grabbed his overcoat, logging off as he stood. With a last glance over the bullpen- noting Clark's slight frown as he read an email and glanced towards Richard's office curiously, Lois's neutral expression as she typed up her article, Jimmy's tinkering around with his camera equipment, and his uncle settling behind his desk- he headed out early for the day.

A sad smile sprawled across Richard White's face. This was it; it had to be today. They had reached the end of the road, and Richard knew that pivotal point was coming. He only had to wait for it come to him. For Lois to tell him the inevitable. He glanced back at her face as he waited for the elevator doors to close before him, seeing her chew her fingernail nervously.

It wouldn't be long now.

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**A/N:** Poor Richard! He would be incredibly comforted if you left a review- maybe tell him what you think he should do next? Or perhaps give him insight as to what Lois might do or say... ;P


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Don't be mad at me. Just keep reading. :) I swear, I'll try to put the Superman universe back together again.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. Just read already.

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Lois walked through the front door of hers and Richard's home of five years with more than a hint of sadness. She closed the door behind her carefully, and set her briefcase down in the entryway, taking a moment to absorb her surroundings: to breathe in the scent of their home, to allow her gaze to drift upon every feature in her sight, to hear the quiet silence of the river and the city outside with the same silence reflected on the inside, willing herself to believe this was worth it all.

It had to be today. She couldn't take this any longer- she was going mad just thinking of the possibilities, over-analyzing every inch of the problem. The time had come for her to make her choice. And Lois had made her choice already. Whether or not it was the right one, she had spent hours deliberating- but she found it no longer mattered. She didn't care. She just had to choose.

Lois walked through the house, feeling more and more as if she were losing herself the farther inside she went, and yet still she pushed forward- reminescing over all the happy memories just the three of them had shared in these walls, the tears and the laughter, convincing herself that she had made the right choice, despite her difficulty in making it. Now she just needed to break the news.

This was right, wasn't it? This would be for the best. This would be good for her. For all of them.

Hell. That was the only word to describe the horrible feeling she'd been experiencing all day, all these last several days. That horrible, gut-wrenching feeling that she'd felt ever since she'd kissed Clark. Ever since she found out the truth about him. He might not have returned her memories, but he did reawaken some feelings, for sure. She'd felt the love from Clark, the pure want, the immeasurable sadness, and the depth of his emotions.

It had scared her.

She knew Richard. She had come to love him all these five years. She had convinced herself of that. Just like she had convinced herself years ago that she had loved Superman. Or Clark. Whoever he was.

Either way, that meant she'd been lying to herself somewhere along the lines.

She sighed. Oh well. Fate was inesccapable now. Perry had kept her at the office late- it was well past Jason's bedtime now, eleven thirty, so she had no fear of interruption in her conversation. And yet still she dreaded what was coming next, wishing she had any excuse to delay it.

She had turned the corner into the kitchen to find her fiancee sitting at the island counter top with a beer bottle in his hands, peeling away at the label nervously. She froze. Apparently he knew the time had come as well. It had been three weeks, after all. It was time for all of them to put this behind them and move forward with their lives.

"Richard," she spoke, her throat suddenly gone dry.

He glanced up at her barely, giving her a small smile that never really reached his eyes.

Lois moved to take the seat next to him, juxtaposed at the corner. She glanced down at her hands briefly before turning to look him in the eyes. "Richard, I-" her voice broke and tears began to fill her eyes, but she pressed onwards despite the pain in her heart over all she was letting go. Perhaps this wasn't right after all. "I know things have been more than difficult recently. And I'm sorry. I'm so, unbelievably sorry for all of that. And I know that, no matter who Jason's father might be biologically, you will always love him as if he were your own son." She paused, biting her lip, readying herself to speak again, re-evaluating her opinions once more, when he cut her off.

"You don't have to do this you know," he spoke quietly at first, but gradually grew strength. He clarified at her quizzical expression. "Let me down easy. It's not either of our styles. Let's face it- we're journalists. Cold, hard facts is what runs our world, Lois. Rip off the bandage."

"Richard," the tears were streaming now, and she bit down fiercely on her bottom lip to try and hold herself together. "I love you."

"And I will always love you, Lois-"

"Please, Richard, just let me finish first this time. I love you. I really do. And that's why-"

"Here we go."

"Why I want- why I need-"

"Clark's a lucky man-"

"-To marry you."

"Well, I'm happy for- wait a minute. What?"

Lois stared at her fiancee, still chewing on her lip, tears streaked across her features and her brow knit with worry. Richard stared back at her in shock, thinking he must have misheard. "Marry me?" he echoed, though his voice came out more as a croak.

She nodded her head once, never removing her hazel eyes from his own blue ones, searching his expression for a clue as to where his thoughts were.

Richard sat speechless, aware that his mouth hung open like a codfish. She wanted to marry _him_. Richard White. She'd picked him. _Over Superman._ A tide of emotion swelled up within his chest, threatening to burst. He was practically giddy.

Then he looked into her eyes, and he saw it. The doubt. The hurt. The fear.

That's when Richard realized he couldn't do this to her.

This wasn't what she wanted, really. He had known that all along. He doubted they would even be discussing marriage today if this situation with Clark hadn't come up- they hadn't gotten married in five years time. Why should they now, besides the obvious? She was practically begging with her eyes, pleading with him to let her do this, bargaining her happiness for his. Begging for mercy from him, begging him to say "Yes, let's get married Lois," and sweep her off her feet and then carry her away and kiss her and erase all her fears and whisper that it would be all right and that they would be happy together. And life would be perfect again.

But Richard wasn't strong enough to sweep her off her feet. Never was. And so far only one man had ever been able to erase Lois's fears with a kiss- amnesia or otherwise.

Richard White was not that man.

He was not the right man for her. And she knew that full well. But for some reason, she was forcing herself to believe he was. _Because she's scared,_ he realized suddenly. _She's running away from her fears._

And Richard was not about to let her make that sort of sacrifice.

He looked down at the countertop under his arms before raising his gaze to meet hers once more. Her eyes were so full of hope and concern, hanging on his every word- it made what he had to do that much harder. But it had to be done.

"No. I'm sorry."

Lois blinked, confused. "Wh-what?" she whispered, not believing what she was hearing.

"I'm so sorry, Lois. But I can't let you do this."

"Why- how- what do you mean?"

"You deserve better than this- I would never ask you to sacrifice what you want because I asked you to or wanted you to."

"But I just said I want to marry you, and now you're saying no? How is that not doing exactly the opposite of what you just said?"

"You don't want to marry me, Lois. You want to be with Clark, you're just too afraid to let yourself love him again. I'm your safe choice, and so- against all odds, and against everything you've ever taught yourself to do through either habit or practice- you've actually decided not to take the one risk that's most important to you! I never thought that you, Lois Lane, would chicken out of anything- three months ago you trespassed onto Lex Luthor's yacht and got yourself kidnaped, with Jason- and that's not the first time something like that's happened! What's so scary about Clark?"

She looked down at the counter, feeling hot tears rolling down her cheeks- different tears from the ones she had shed earlier in that those had been tears of mourning, tears of loss. These were tears of embarassment and shame. "I'm scared to fall," she whispered faintly. "I've fallen for him before. I don't want things to go that way again. It's too dangerous this time- I can't be left in the lurch again. I have Jason to think of now. It's not just a silly crush I can go running after anymore."

Richard caught her chin gently and lifted her face so that she might lock eyes with him once more. "Hey," he said soothingly. "Clark's not running anywhere. And, like I said. You're Lois Lane. You're more prone to danger than matches are to fire. It's not like you can avoid ever seeing the guy again, what with how often your life gets threatened- and lucky for you, Superman's always been there to catch you when you fall." He pulled away from her and stood up, turning to look out at the blackness of the night through the window.

"Richard," Lois began, a note of that same pleading tone in her voice once more. She followed him as he stood, reaching her hand out towards his shoulder before stopping short a couple of feet away.

"No, Lois. That's my final word on the matter."

"I can still love you, Richard."

"I don't want you to have to settle for an average guy like me. I don't want to be the guy you resent forever because you could have had someone better. I don't want to be second-best. And I'm sorry, but I'm not going to put us both through the torture of sticking together for life when it's so obvious that's not what you want! Neither of us deserve that sort of agony." His tone had grown louder with his impatience. Why was she fighting him so hard on this? How long did he have to keep pushing the woman of his dreams away before he broke down and gave up? No. He was Richard White, dammit, and the Whites were as stubborn as mules. All he had to do to prove that point was exhibit his Uncle- possibly the stubbornest man on the planet.

. . . Next to Lois Lane and Clark Kent, the next two stubbornest people on the planet. Richard sighed, thinking idly for a moment that Jason had no hope with those sort of genes.

Finally, Lois managed to find her voice- something she rarely found herself without- and spoke softly, resigned. "I know, Richard. I just. . . between not wanting to hurt you and not wanting to hurt myself- let alone Jason, for that matter- I just figured it was for the best if we kept up with this, not rock the boat."

Richard gave her a sad smile as he realized they were both slowly coming to grips with reality, and it was painful. So, so painful. "Honey, I think the boat capsized a while back now."

She tried her best to smile, but it became more of a grimace as the expression mingled with her streaming tears.

Suddenly, taken over by impulse, Richard leaned forward and kissed her- trying one last time to make her see how much he loved her, to awaken her love for him once more, to change her mind. He kissed her with as much love and passion as he could muster pouring out of him, and he tasted her salty tears on her lips and the slight trace of coffee left on her breath from her late night coffee run for what would likely be the last time.

When he pulled away, however, he looked at her face, and felt his heart drop in disappointment. Lois remained silent. He sighed. "That's not how you looked after kissing Clark."

She darted her eyes up to meet her once fiancee's face, a look of panic in her eyes once more. "Richard, you know that I was just trying to get my memories back, not anything like-"

"I know," he cut her off. "And yet you two still had an amount of chemistry that I couldn't manage." Every word Richard spoke now was like a knife stabbing at his heart as the realization hit him. This was really happening now. This was the end of the road.

"I am truly sorry, Richard."

"I know." _Stab_.

"I tried, didn't I? I would have made this work for you, for us."

"You shouldn't have to." _Stab, stab, stab, stab._ . .

Suddenly her arms were wrapped around him in a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry. I'll always love you, Richard. You're a wonderful man. Thank you," she whispered against his neck, burrowing her face against his shoulder.

Richard clamped his eyes shut against the stinging of his tears, but they still flowed. "Don't mention it." _Seriously. Don't say you love me one more time- please. Just go. It's killing me._ _Please. Go. __**Please**__._

As if reading his mind, Lois pulled back from him and stepped away. Wanting to give him the engagement ring, but knowing he wouldn't accept it back, Lois grabbed her purse and headed back for the front door, grabbing her briefcase on her way.

"Where are you going?" Richard couldn't help asking.

She shrugged. "Back to the Planet, I guess. It's only a couple hours now until we've got to be back to work again. I'll be back tomorrow- or I suppose tonight- and I'll start looking for a place to stay."

Another pang stabbing at his heart. "You don't have to go yet. I mean, you're always welcome to stay here. I was thinking of even giving you the house maybe. If you wanted it."

Lois shook her head. "No, you can have the house. It's too. . . difficult for me. Too many memories. But I might take you up on your offer to stay a while longer, just while we look for a place."

Richard nodded, unable to speak the pain was so unbearable. _We_. She and Jason. He was losing them both in one loose gamble. Lois seemed to know where his thoughts were headed and corrected her mistake. "I'm not going to keep Jason from you at all. You're still his father, you know, regardless of everything else. I wouldn't want either of you to be deprived of a relationship just because you and I have moved on. I know Clark would feel the same way."

He nodded again. That blinding rage towards Clark from earlier returned briefly, fogging his thoughts. He hated that man, and yet he had willingly just gave up the woman who was supposed to be his wife to him. Because he loved her.

Damn him.

Lois left awkwardly, while Richard remained zoned out of sorts. She had left the ring on the dining room table as she'd walked past. Richard didn't notice it until now. He walked over to the table and picked the object up carefully, as though he cradled a life in his hands and not simply a rock attached to a gold band. He sat down at the table, propping his head up in his right hand and staring at the ring in his other, swearing in his mind over what he'd just done.

He whispered aloud one piece of advice to give to his son- he would always be his son, no matter what, Richard wouldn't give up on that- and he spoke as he stared into the diamond. "Never fall in love, buddy."

Yet even as he spoke the words, Richard knew he was lying to himself. Because despite the horrible pain that seemed to be tearing his body apart at this time, he would never wish that he hadn't fallen in love with Lois Lane.

She had given him the best five years of his life.

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**A/N:** Sorry to end on a sad note. Good things will come soon! I promise!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Hello, gentle readers! I've finally gotten around to updating this! I really love writing this story, and it's probably one of my favorites that I've written so far, so I'm really glad to get back to this! Anyway, I'm probably not going to drag this out for much longer- a couple more chapters maybe. And I'm still pretty busy, so my update schedule is going to be sporadic and likely drawn out. But, I'm giving this to you anyways for the time being. Enjoy! And as always, leave me a review for what you liked and what you want to see next!

Love, SJT ;P

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Clark awoke to the sound of a heartbeat, pounding heavily as it came nearer. This time, however, it was not Alice White's frantically beating pulse as she approached his bedside with a baseball bat.

He shot up in bed with the realization.

It was Lois. Lois Lane was here, at Perry White's house. In the middle of the night, no less. That had to signify something.

Alice was up, too, he heard, answering the door in surprise. _"Lois, what are you doing here? What's wrong?"_ Clark tried his best to turn his ears away from the conversation, but was failing quite miserably. The instant he knew something had indeed gone wrong, he knew it was a lost cause. He had to know why. And since he didn't want to spy, that meant he'd have to go out there and face her.

_"Is Clark here?"_ he heard Lois ask in a shaky voice as he struggled to button his shirt up at a slow enough pace. His fingers kept shaking with a nervous energy he couldn't contain. He felt his heart flutter when she spoke his name.

_"Yes, dear, he's sleeping in the guest room. Why? Do you want me to go get him or-"_

_"Oh, no, that's okay. I'm gonna go now anyways. I don't know why I came here in the first place really."_

_"Lois, what's happened? Are you alright?"_

_"I don't want to talk about it anymore."_

_"I'm sure it'd be no trouble to wake Clark-"_

"No! I don't want to see him right now!"

Clark froze, his hand hovering gently over the door handle behind him. His eyes went wide as he stared at a distraught looking Lois Lane who had not yet realized Clark Kent was standing just outside his bedroom door. _Drat. Okay, Clark. Time to go back._

Then the door slammed shut behind him.

Both Lois and Alice snapped their heads over to face the sound. Clark still appeared surprised, but his surprise quickly turned to embarrassment and guilt. His face reddened. _Stupid cross breeze_, he thought. Between his bedroom window and the front door being open, the draft had sealed his fate along with his door.

Lois began to glare at him. Clark tried to save face. "I-I was just leaving. Y-you guys can stay and talk. If you want."

Lois bit her lip to keep from crying, from spilling all to him. She didn't want to have to face him yet. She didn't want to just run from the arms of one man into the arms of another. She didn't want to seem desperate. She didn't _want_ to have another man comfort her.

But she needed comfort.

Clark took in Lois's appearance- still in the same clothes she had worn to work yesterday, red puffy eyes and a red nose, indicating she had been crying. He desperately wanted to take her into his arms and console her, even not knowing what had happened. Considering it was four am and she looked like that, it couldn't have been anything good.

Alice looked between the two of them and cleared her throat. Both pairs of eyes turned to look at her. "Well? I mean, I love you both and all, but it is the middle of the night-" she raised her eyebrows at Clark pointedly.

He cleared his throat. "Uh, right. I'll be going now. I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Lois. Or today, I suppose." He gave her a slight smile. She wanted to return it, but it was taking everything in her to keep from breaking down in tears that instant. Even now he was trying to cheer her up. He always was sweet, wasn't he?

Clark glanced at Alice with a look of discomfort. She nodded at him, as if signaling that she would take good care of her. A quick look of relief flitted across Clark's brow. "Okay," he muttered, and in a flash of color he was gone, his door open once again and his clothes folded neatly on his bed. Lois sighed.

Alice patted her shoulder lightly. "Come on, dear. Why don't you have a seat and make yourself comfortable? I'll get you something to drink. Tea okay?"

Numbly, Lois nodded and made her way over to the couch. She felt bad about making Clark leave- although she didn't exactly _make_ him go- but still. She shook herself. She wasn't ready to talk to him yet. She needed time, time to herself. Time to think and to ponder and figure out what the hell happened to her life this past month.

She had been happy before. Happy with Jason being Richard's son, and happy being with Richard. Well, maybe happy wasn't quite the right term. She and Richard had been having a rough go of things for a while now, but they hadn't necessarily been _unhappy_. They'd just been... normal. Adequate. Good enough.

Alice approached with two cups of tea in hand. Lois took the proffered cup with a weak smile and a gracious nod. After a moment of silence, Alice spoke up. "Is everything alright, Lois?"

Lois shook her head.

"You want to talk about it?"

She shook her head again. Alice nodded and simply sipped at her drink, knowing the girl would open up about it when she felt comfortable with it. Alice would wait patiently, until that moment came.

Lois swiped an obtrusive tear away and sniffled slightly. They sat like that, together in silence for what seemed like forever, though in reality it was probably only five or ten minutes. Eventually, Lois spoke.

"I don't know how this happened, Alice." Alice looked up at her questioningly, not uttering a word in return, signaling her to continue. "It's just... ever since Clark returned... well, things just haven't been the same. And now... I just don't know what to do."

Alice gave her hand a comforting squeeze. They were starting to slip back into silence, so the older woman finally decided to move things along. "So what happened with Richard?"

Lois felt her lower lip quivering and clamped down on it forcefully. "I- I told him I'd made my decision."

"And what was your decision?" Alice asked.

Lois looked into her gentle blue eyes, the kindness behind them, and immediately knew she couldn't lie to her, despite the fact that it might break her heart. She looked down to her lap and softly answered, "Clark."

Alice nodded and gave her hand another slight squeeze. "I'm sure Richard understands."

Lois shook her head. "No, Alice. You don't get it. I lied to him. To Richard. I didn't tell him I'd chosen Clark. I said I'd chosen him. I would have thrown it all away for him, if he'd wanted me to."

Alice's brow wrinkled in concern. "What do you mean? You told Richard yes?"

Lois nodded before jumping to her feet and pacing. "I mean, I did. I said I wanted to be with him, and he looked so... hopeful and elated. And then I don't know what happened, if something in my expression gave me away or if he just knows me well enough to tell when I'm lying- but suddenly, it all came tumbling down. He said he couldn't let me do that to myself, to be with him when I wanted to be with Clark. He gave me up."

Alice felt her heart breaking for her nephew and for Lois all at once, beginning to realize just why Lois was so distraught.

"And I don't even know why it bothers me so much- I mean, he basically set me free! Free to be with Clark- the man I love. But I don't feel anything but this... this terrible ache. Like there's a hole in my chest. It hurts so bad, Alice," Lois stopped pacing, finally breaking down and crying.

Alice got to her feet and enveloped the girl in a strong bear hug. "Oh, sweetie," she murmured as Lois' tears continued to let loose. "It's okay. Sh-shh. Everything will be okay." She rubbed her back soothingly as her tears subsided. Alice managed to coax Lois into sitting back down on the couch before speaking again. "Don't you care for Clark?"

Lois scoffed slightly as she dried her face, ruining what little was left of yesterday's makeup. "I love him, Alice. I really do. But... but I love Richard, too. I don't think I realized it even that much until tonight. I mean, I really was ready to give up a life with Clark just because I loved Richard so much. Because I'd rather keep him happy. Isn't that what love is about?"

Alice didn't know how to respond to that. Lois continued on.

"And yet, I feel the same way about Clark. I know why he left before-"

Alice looked mildly surprised. "Clark said you didn't know."

Lois snorted. "I'm not stupid, Alice. I know he ran from me. Well, I know that now. I guess I can't really claim to knowing anything then. But still. The fact that I had hurt him so badly that he even felt he had to run away from me, to escape his pain- I mean, I know he was trying to be the bigger person... but it's caused so much more heartache since. And it's all my fault."

"It's not your fault in the least, dear. You know that. No one could have predicted that any of this would happen."

She shrugged helplessly before returning her gaze to her lap. "I should have given myself up for him, too. Or even stayed with him back then." She felt the presence of tears stinging at her eyes and paused to compose herself. "I love them both, Alice... I just don't know if I'm _in_ love with either of them. What if I can't choose? What if I hurt them both for no good reason? Or worse, what if, when I finally am able to choose, neither of them will have me?" Her voice broke on her last words, and Alice enveloped her in another warm hug.

"Oh, sweetie," she murmured. Alice didn't really have an answer for that. It was all up in the air. She knew Clark would wait an eternity for her... but if it was Richard she wanted, she couldn't be sure. "Don't you worry about that right now. You just take care of you. Okay?"

Lois nodded slowly, drying her tears. "Right. I know. I will." She sniffled a bit and blew her nose before they lapsed back into silence.

"You know, Lois, you're always welcome to stay here with us. If you want. I mean, I don't know if you do. But just in case... you know. Our doors are always open to you- and Jason."

"I know that, Alice. But I don't want to be here when Clark's still staying here. And I don't want to put you out."

"Nonsense. You wouldn't be putting us out in any way, shape or form. And Clark's not going to stay here forever. He's really just waiting for his apartment to clear out so he can move in. It can't be more than a day or two more. Just let us know if you do, alright?"

Lois nodded and they once again slipped into silence- this time, a more comfortable one, though.

A noise from behind them prompted both of them to turn. A puzzled looking Perry White emerged from the back bedroom wearing striped pajamas and fuzzy slippers. "Lois? When did you get here?" The image of her boss in such attire paired with the confused look on his face proved too much for Lois, and she broke down in genuine laughter for the first time in what felt like forever.

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**A/N:** So? What do you say? Alright? A little short? Let me know!


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